A New Beginning

What is Bullying?

Bullying is aggressive behavior that happens repeatedly. It can include physical things such as hitting, kicking, or pushing, or the threat to do it. It can also be stealing, hiding, or damaging someone’s things. It includes hazing, harassment and humiliation, or pressuring someone to do things that he or she doesn’t want to do. Verbal bullying can be name-calling, teasing or taunting, insulting or verbally abusing someone by threatening or intentionally embarrassing someone in front of others. Relationship bullying is much more frequent with girls than boys, and includes refusing to talk to someone, excluding someone from groups or activities, spreading lies or rumors, hazing, harassment, or humiliating others, and pressuring someone to do something they don’t want to do.

More than 25% of children and teens have experienced some form of bullying. Bullies usually target someone because of his or her appearance or social standing. Bullies generally pick on kids that are “different” or don’t fit into the mainstream. It could be how you dress, act, or because of your race, religion or sexual orientation. It may be that you’re new to a school or neighborhood and simply haven’t made any friends yet.

Unfortunately, many bullies have been victims of bullying themselves. In order to feel like they have some control, they often resort to trying to control others.

How to Deal with a Bully

1. Walk away from the bully. Bullies want to try to gain control over your emotions, so try not to react with anger or physical force. If you walk away, make sure to ignore them or calmly and assertively tell them that you are not interested in what they have to say. You are demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.

2. Protect yourself. If you are not able to walk away and are physically being hurt, protect yourself as best you can so you can get away. Sometimes using an element of surprise like shouting, “Look out!” or “Mr. Wheeler is coming!” may distract the bully long enough for you to get away.

3. Get Help. Report the bullying to a trusted adult. Tell a parent, teacher, counselor, or other adult. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re not a brave person or that there is something wrong with you, it simply means that no one has the right to bully or intimidate another person and you’re not alone. We all need to take a stand together against bullying. Always tell someone if you are being threatened or hurt. If you don’t report these assaults or threats, bullies often become more aggressive. Parents and school personnel have a responsibility to keep kids safe, but they can’t help you if they don’t know there is a problem. Never give up! Report each and every incident until it stops. You never have to give in to bullying!

4. Never Blame Yourself. It’s not your fault. No matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who are or what you feel.

5. Be Proud of Who You Are. Despite what a bully tells you, you are a special person with many wonderful qualities. Reminding yourself of all the positives can help offset all the negative things a bully may say to you.

6. Deal with the Stress. Bullying can be very stressful. Finding ways to cope with the stress can help you be more resilient. Enjoying activities like exercising (riding a bike, playing basketball, jumping on a trampoline), meditating or praying, positive self-talk, relaxation techniques (like taking a bubble bath or reading a good book), and practicing good breathing exercises are all ways to reduce stress. Talking with a counselor or social worker may also be very helpful.