3 1/2 Seconds to Live
A Lifelong Journey with PTSD and Depression
by
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On the day I left home, we must have looked like a family out of a Norman Rockwell painting as we sat in Portland’s cavernous old Union Depot that spring day in 1944. Most of the long, hard wooden benches were vacant as war-time restrictions had curtailed unnecessary traveling. Mine was necessary, however, as I carried in my pocket my first set of official orders directing me, on this date, to Fort Lewis, Washington, where I was to be inducted into the United States Army Air Corps.
What do you say when you have said goodbye a dozen or so times?
We all became silent until we heard the old American Standard locomotive chug its way slowly into the station. We each stood up reluctantly. I picked up my shaving kit and we slowly shuffled across the yard to Track 3. It was hard to let go, but I must admit there was a strange mixture of both hesitance and excitement.
I stood on the steps of the passenger train until the conductor picked up the portable stool and set it inside and closed the door. Then, I hung over the top of the door until the train rounded a curve and I could see them no more.
Gracie wrote to me as soon as she returned home to Hillsboro and told me that they no sooner had pulled out of the depot when my dad had to pull the car over to the curb and lay his head on the steering wheel. There he cried and cried.
As soon as I was seated in the old passenger car with its green straight back seats, I rested my head on the window and did the same thing.
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The United States entered the war in 1941.
A total of 11,260,000 Americans served in that war.
I was one of them.
A total of 407,300 died.
I was spared.
Only part of me died.
As unique as Don’s story is, it is also in some intensely personal and honest sense, all of our stories. The book’s sheer transparency alone may well heal half the people who read it. And the nature of that same fierce transparency will likely heal the other half. I kid you not. There is hope! Read it and weep, occasionally. But rejoice in the end.
Stu Weber
Pastor and Author of Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope
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About the Book
From a World War to a personal war— this is the profoundly personal story of a preacher with PTSD and major depressive disorder. Don Baker shares his journey into the darkness—“the black hole,” as he calls it—and how its shadow has haunted him for over seventy years. Insightful, vulnerable, and honest, this is a human story for human readers, for people who have tasted life and found it too often bitter and perplexing.
About the Author
Don Baker pastored churches in California, Oregon, and Illinois, for nearly forty years and traveled extensively on multiple continents as well as across the United States for the Conservative Baptist Association as minister-at-large. He lives in the Northwest and is married to his college sweetheart, Martha. His numerous books include Finding Hope in Times of Crisis, Beyond Forgiveness, Restoring Broken Relationships, Pain’s Hidden Purpose, Love: A New Look at an Old Word, Fresh New Look at God, and Heaven.