Jocelyn’s Journey

Jocelyn started to get her precious lip out! The adorable bottom lip that tucked under to give a warning to a tear coming soon! My begging turned into a bawling blubbering cry: “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU WONT EVEN TRY! I KNOW YOU CAN FEED YOURSELF! YOU’VE DONE IT FOR MONTHS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?”

At that moment, Jocelyn began to cry and vigorously shook her head “NO NO NO NO” as if she were telling me: “you’ve got it all wrong, Mom, STOP!” At that moment, I stopped crying and I was so proud that she communicated. She told me “NO!” I got through to her, but more importantly, SHE got through to ME! I could see it in her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint me. I wiped my tears and hers, swallowed my pride, made her another lunch and spoon fed it to her- AND SHE ATE IT! This was the moment my quest began. Something beyond my daughter’s control was overcoming her- and it infuriated me! I was no longer “tough loving” her- I then knew, she wanted help! She was trying to figure out too, what was wrong. Her “NO NO NO” of her head vigorously shaking was my wake up call and her desperate cry for help. This was no longer “her against me”. I was in this with her and I was going to love her through it and be there every heart beat of the way!