To Be or Not to Be

The high school entrance had two sets of doors with a section in between. Here is where I saw a security box on the right wall and a welcome sign on the left. I continued past the second set of doors and noticed a window on my right. I was now visible to others and had to be certain I did not look like I was unsure of myself. I continued on and looked up and to the right to see a sign with the words “High School” on it. I took a deep breath and then opened the door to see a secretary hard at work. I noticed a name plate with her name, Scarlett Fisher, on it.

“Can I help you?” she asked. Scarlett seemed to be in her fifties; she had the salt-and-pepper look in her hair. Depending upon where her glasses sat on her nose, you could tell how much she was actually paying attention. At that moment, she looked straight through her glasses, directly at me.

“Yes. I will be moving to the area in the next couple months, and I wanted to hand out my portfolio before I get up here, in case there may be any openings,” I said as fast as I could, with a bit of nervousness. The sentences did not come out exactly as I had pictured them in my head. They never seem to when I have only one chance to make an impression. Even if I was envisioning an entire paragraph of what I wanted to say, most of the time I would end up saying only a couple sentences, if that. “Who might I give this to?”

“You will need to bring that to the superintendent’s office,” Scarlett said. She then stood up and started pointing in which direction I would be headed. “Take a right when you get outside of this office. At the end, you will go left because it is the only way you can go. You are going to pass the first hall on the right. When you get to the second hall, turn right. If you get to a stairway or cafeteria you have gone too far. It is will be the second door on the right.”

I took in as much as I possibly could. Pretending that I remembered every word she said, I smiled, said, “Thank you very much,” and headed down the hall. After passing a classroom on the right, I then came to a corner. I took a left as it was the only direction I could go without running into a wall. Within the next few steps, I saw a hallway on the right. Was this the direction she wanted me to go? It was not lit up like the other halls were … probably just saving up on electricity bills over the summer. I decided to keep walking to see if there was another hallway I could go down. I came up to the next hallway and noticed that the lights were on in that one. I let out a big sigh of relief when I noticed down the hall on the right there was a sign hanging from the ceiling saying “Superintendent’s Office.” As happy as I was that I found the office, my nerves just shot up.

Superintendent. This is the big guy. I can’t show any fear with him. He needs to see me as wonder woman in order for him to want me to be one of his teachers.

After taking a deep breath, I walked into the office and noticed a lady with brown curly hair. She was typing something into the computer and seemed so focused that I did not want to interrupt her. After I stood there for a minute or so, the lady asked me, “Can I help you?” As she did not look my direction when asking me, I had no idea who she was talking to at first. Within a few seconds, she finished typing and looked directly at me. Her round face and straightforward look seemed a bit intimidating, like I already was not good enough to work there.

“Yes. I will be moving into the area pretty soon, and I wanted to drop off my portfolio,” I said with a very firm voice. As I passed it over to her, my hands were shaking. I still am not sure what it is that makes my hands shake on a regular basis, but I do know they get worse when I am nervous. “Thank you. I will give this to the superintendent when he gets back,” she stated as she laid down my portfolio on her desk, away from what she was currently working on.

“Thank you very much.” I started walking out into the...