Married Life:

In today’s world, one year is a long time to be married. Most people enter marriage with no intention of staying together. They enter marriage with all of the windows open so that if anything happens, they have easy access to leave. They enter marriage with options. The marriage altar is the place and time where many people tell some of the biggest lies. Husbands and wives stand before one another, making promises and commitments that they have no intention on carrying out. Too many couples are in love on Monday and broken up by Friday. Divorce among Christians is just as prevalent as it is among non-believers. A Barna Group study revealed that among adults who have been married, one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. Born-again Christians were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced.[1]

Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit, you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” (Malachi 2:15-16)

It is time to declare war on divorce, especially in the body of Christ. Previous generations lacked the spiritual and relational resources that are available today; yet, they fully embraced their marriage vows and kept the covenant, often staying together for several decades. Unfortunately, long successful marriages are not the norm in today’s society. Most people simply want to maintain their selfishness. They want to marry, but continue to operate as if they are single. This mentality is a disaster waiting to happen. The present generations have the tools necessary to build a divorce-proof marriage, yet they make decisions that totally go against the Word of God. There is absolutely no reason to divorce, regardless of the mistakes you made or the ones your spouse made. Love covers everything! Does it cover cheating? Absolutely! Does it cover bringing a baby into the marriage? Absolutely! God’s Word reminds us of this truth.

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

While it may require counseling and constant communication, with the proper revelation of God’s love, everything that happens in a marriage can be reconciled. In order to build a divorce-proof marriage and remain committed to the vows you took on your wedding day, you must remember God’s original intent of marriage. Learn to love your spouse as Christ loves the church.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. (Ephesians 5:21-26)

Married Life: Building a Divorce-Proof Marriage equips you for a victorious marriage. When you took your vows before Christ, you committed yourself to work through any issues that arise in your marriage. You committed to staying together for richer or for poorer, through sickness and in health, until you are parted by death. The wedding day is full of love, happiness and joy. However, many couples spend little time, if any, planning what to do when challenges come. God hates divorce, and believers should hate what God hates. God has placed a special grace on my life for marriage and family. It is my heart’s desire for His children to have relational prosperity. London and I have been married for 20 years and by the grace of God we are enjoying life together. Our marriage is not enjoyable only because we love God; it is our commitment to making our marriage work that allows us to experience that Zoe life. Many people have successful careers, but failed marriages. They spend so much time learning how to please their bosses that they do not take the time to learn how to get along with their spouse. Just as we plan for success in every other area of our lives, we must plan for success in marriage. There is no money-back guarantee of success in marriage simply because we know God and are filled with the Holy Spirit.

Marriage is work! You must decide today that, regardless of the challenges that you face, divorce is not an option. Decide to do the work! Use the tools in this book and work the Word daily in your life and in your marriage. London and I have declared war on divorce. We are not only called to equip His people to stay together, but also to enjoy every day of the journey. As you read the pages of these chapters, expect to be challenged to build a stronger connection with your spouse. You will assess your marriage and find yourself asking some of the following questions: What did I really mean when I said my vows? Am I meeting the needs of my spouse? Is forgiveness holding me from experiencing joy in marriage? Married Life: Building a Divorce-Proof Marriage will inspire you to take your marriage from good to great.