Nightcrawler's Missives

Missive #6

Porn in the Church

My Dear Nightcrawler:

We, as you know, have a dirty little secret and everyone who is involved in it wants to keep it that way from the pastor to head deacon and janitor too. Surprising, as it may seem, some outstanding women in the church also succumb to this addiction. You know, of course, that I’m referring to porn.

Now it's so easy. In the old days if someone wanted to watch porn they had to drive to the shady side of town, or better yet a town down the road a ways, wear a trench coat, make sure no one they knew was looking and sneak into a porn shop. Now with the marvels of the internet all they need to do is open up their computer and in one click; it's all there--instantly the offering of 182 million sites clamoring for one's attention! Once they visit a site and watch the latest sneak show's titillating commercial a new offering is on their "in box". It now comes to them seeking them out and oh, how difficult it is for them to delete it. All they have to carefully watch for is that mother, babe, boss, or goo-die two shoes church secretary doesn't walk in on them at that inopportune time. The Internet does all of this for us, Nightcrawler! Hurrah!!

One of the enemy's leaders; a Swimdoll, or something like that, calls it the number one secret problem in your church! The audacity of calling attention to one of our cherished endeavors!! Anyway, how does he know? He goes on to say something like it could be eating your church alive and something about ruining marriages, destroying relationships, and harming youth. Duh. Just because statistics show that 64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women view pornography at least once a month; statistics only slightly better than non-Christians! Among pastors: 43% have visited a pornographic site with, 21% doing so a few times a year and 6% a couple times a month or more. Some sources cite much higher involvement by Christians than these figures.

One Owner of a large hotel told the scribe of these missives that one week-end when it hosted a youth pastor's conference the revenue for the pay-per-view TV channel showing porn skyrocketed. Of course none of that means that it is happening in the staff or members of “our church!

Nightcrawler, do your best to have the leaders in every church dismiss the whole notion as a problem in other churches certainly not theirs. After all, their upright leaders and members wouldn’t stoop to such depths as being involved in porn. If there is any problem in their church it's limited to adolescent boys. After all, boys, will be boys, and it's a phase they will grow out of so let's not get sidetracked from the important task of preaching the gospel and saving lost souls. Don't let it even cross anyone's mind that there could be a porn addiction in our spiritual leaders, deacons, elders and certainly not in any of our fine women. It may happen in other churches but not in our church! Above all, don't let it out that many women find romantic novels more stimulating that actual porn and for our purposes is just as destructive.

Nightcrawler, we've a good thing going here, don't let the enemy mess with what we've got. Porn poisons peoples minds, plays havoc in marriages and causes adultery and divorce. Keep the churches under your supervision in denial of this problem. If anyone raises it as a possible problem in their church then they must have a personal problem with porn or otherwise why would they bring the subject up?

Your Cordial Assessor,

Uncle Beelzebub