Surviving and Thriving in the Mad House of Youth Ministry

Chapter 22: You can’t humanly duplicate the moving of God’s spirit: I mentioned in another section about how I have been burned by allowing myself to be spiritually bullied by people who have an agenda. As I have grown and matured and accumulated more life experience I’ve learned to stand up to people when that happens. But on the down side, it has put me on the defensive when approached by people sharing spiritual things with me. It’s brought me to the point where I am currently: “If I’m going to make a mistake spiritually, I’m going to make it on the conservative side.” What that means is that when I am faced with something that I think might turn the kids off or do damage to them spiritually by having a bad spiritual experience, I shut it down. I have a big problem when people manipulate the emotions of teenagers.

But what I fail to realize sometimes is that most teenagers live life through their emotions. That’s why I believe they go forward to accept Christ at meeting after meeting after meeting. I think they need that emotional reassurance. So they are very emotional beings, and though I try hard not to use or manipulate that, it’s good to realize it is something that God can use to turn a kid’s life around. So, hanging tight to the vine (John 15:1-8) and trying to stay close to the mind of God (Romans 15:5-6) and the working of the Holy Spirit (1 Thess. 1:4-5) is key as you minister to teens.

Here is what happens to me. Maybe you can relate. If not, you’re probably more mature spiritually than I am. I’m in large group meeting with our students. I’m sharing a story and giving them a challenge about something to do with God and them. As the challenge progresses I have a sense that it would be a good opportunity to give an invitation for them to respond somehow to the Gospel. This could mean coming forward or raising their hand … maybe it’s following a staff out of the room to meet with them … Then I remember some of the things that had happened to manipulate kids’ feelings. Example: I offered an invitation and a student came forward and just lost it, crying his eyes out. He then stopped coming to the meetings and avoided me at school. I found out later it was because he was embarrassed to have lost it in front of everyone and now saw us as manipulators.

After that thought hit me, I buried the idea of doing an invitation. After the meeting some things happened that made me realize that this had been a prodding of the Holy Spirit for me to let God get involved in the meeting. So what is my response? I felt bad that I didn’t respond to the Holy Spirits movement like I should have. The next meeting I tried to re-create the movement of the Holy Spirit manually. And of course that didn’t work. I lost the opportunity and the only thing that I could do about it was to try not to miss the next one. It’s not an easy thing. Our feelings combined with our past life experience can deceive us. So our means of knowing how to respond in a situation is by regularly staying connected to the Vine, the mind of God and the working of the Holy Spirit.

Carole’s take on the situation: Many times couples have one that is emotional and one that is analytical. It is a God- given blessing. We are a team. We can hand the baton to the other when needed. When Dave gives the challenge to the youth I can watch the crowd, lingering on the faces of those I can see are emotionally connecting to what is being said. I can pray for the kids as they listen. I can pull one aside and offer to talk further with them after the challenge is over. There are a number of ways you can be a supportive member of the team.. Each personality offers something. Each volunteer or staff member can be used by God to cover the bases … even if another member of the team seems to drop the ball. Keep your eyes wide open for you opportunity to connect and be the balance.