One Simple Thing

Can you imagine a world where human beings had never learned to stand upright and walk on two feet? All those bones, joints and muscles in our legs would be nearly going to waste. What if no human being had ever figured out that the design of our lower limbs was meant for standing and walking? What if everyone in the whole world and history of the human race stayed like some primates and used both hands and feet to move around by crabbing along the ground? What would such a world be like if children never learned anything beyond crawling? Do you get the picture? All the potential ease of walking and running never achieved in the whole of the human race. How would that make for a different world?
For one thing, there would be no such thing as one of my favorite spectator sports: basketball games. All the doors in the world would only need to be about three and half feet high. Furniture would all be low to the ground. Back trouble and knee trouble would be epidemic, even more so than it is today. Who could know how stunted human development and technology would be if no one stood or moved about in an upright position. Now, to really use our imagination, consider the following.
If someone came into a world filled only of crawlers and crabbers with the astounding idea of using feet and legs to stand upright and move around, the resulting changes would be monumental. Many people would angrily resist the newfangled thinking and possibilities of change, but hopefully, many would immediately see the advantages of upright living. Obviously, if this walking and running caught on, so many things would be radically different in our world. There would be some epic changes.
Now that we have used our imagination for one rather absurd scenario, we can consider another one that is not absurd at all. It is very real. And this problem is exactly what OST has been written to correct.
Thankfully, we don’t have to teach the world the joys of uprightness. God created human legs and feet for a reason and from the beginning we caught on easily. Truly, our Creator made us fearfully and wonderfully, not the least of which are our feet and legs.
But God also created mouths, ears and souls. These three are vastly important parts of our lives and our eternal existence. They are particularly important in our relationships with one another, and especially important in our marriages. These three radically impact our lives together: the powerful mouth, the marvelous ear and the mysterious soul.
Sadly, these objects of our essence are not so easily mastered as our legs and feet. While a nine month old baby is already beginning the journey of upright living, many mature adults have never come close to understanding how to properly utilize the complexities of their mouths, ears and souls.
Generally speaking, we vastly over use the mouth, and most emphatically under use the ears and the soul. In fact, the notion of two ears and only one mouth suggests that we should listen twice as much as we speak. While that is a brilliant, witty and commonly known suggestion, it largely falls on deaf ears. Pun intended and pointed.
Most of us are terrible at listening. Misunderstanding is more common than comprehension. We call this miscommunication. We send forth communication that aims for understanding, but frequently misses. The result is catastrophic for relationships. We end up talking AT each other rather than WITH each other.
Miscommunication robs us of the foundations for intimacy. True communication builds the foundation for real intimacy; the kind that results in becoming friends and soul mates. The soul to soul kind of intimacy that is so deep that the physical intimacy between a husband and wife is the result. The best kind of physical intimacy becomes the marvelous icing on the cake, not the be all and end all. Marriages do not live by sex alone.
This book is built on the idea that we can truly communicate and start a journey of change. This book supports the idea that intimacy begins in the heart and mind, and is linked to how well you use your ears.
One Simple Thing also seeks to turn around a marriage relationship that is headed into troubled times or even spiraling out of control. When we learn to communicate on a deep level that touches our hearts and our souls, there is an incredible bonding that can transform a relationship from the mundane or even troubled, to one that is headed on a new direction of hope and love.
If you capture the vision of this book, you will embark on a new way of communicating that is as much different as crawling is to running and jumping. You will move from talking AT one another, to talking WITH each other. With new skills and new habits to employ those skills, you will move from the broken and damaged kind of communication that most couples experience to deep and meaningful conversation that finds encouragement and support from your partner. That kind of difference in a relationship is achievable. But it will take change; it will mean embracing new challenges and overcoming obstacles that you would rather just avoid. Change is hard.
One witty commentator on life said that the only people in the world that like to be changed are babies with messy diapers. Most of us abhor the challenges of learning new pathways and habits. We would rather be uncomfortable in our old messy ways than begin a new journey. It is my prayer and earnest hope that since you are reading this book, you are not like most people. You are ready for a change.
Change is adventuresome. It can be frustrating and frightening, but it can also become exhilarating and can expand your grasp on life. One Simple Thing is a vehicle for radically changing how you communicate, which can transform a relationship. It is powerful enough and Godly enough that it seems like a miracle to me. But more on that later…