Was Called Barren

CHAPTER: If God is good, why is He withholding good?

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 77:14

You are the God who works wonders;

you have made known your might among the peoples.

Psalm 84:11-12<.>

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts,

blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Oh what a promise! How I forget that He doesn't withhold good from me. In the middle of my valley, in the middle of my storm, in the middle of my struggle, right splat in the middle of it, I often forget that He does not withhold good. He is my shield, my favor. He does not withhold good from me! It's hard to remember that when you have been waiting SO LONG for His goodness.

During the fertility journey, we won a vehicle. Yes, you read that correctly. We won a brand, spanking new vehicle. One of my sister’s was getting married, and it happened to be the same day as an annual fundraiser that we always attended. Since we couldn’t attend the fundraiser, my husband purchased raffle tickets instead. We had been saving up for a new car for me, but had decided earlier that month that we needed to postpone purchasing a car for another three months until we had saved up more money. In the meantime, though, we had been casually looking at vehicles, and red convertibles had really caught my eye. Well, we won a red Jeep in the raffle. I would count that as a red convertible! Plus, the amount of money we had saved paid for the tax, title, and license for the car. Talk about God providing! You would assume that I was super thankful, but I wasn’t. Instead of having a thankful attitude, I was disgusted with God. I felt like God was playing a mean trick on me. We had been praying for a baby, not a car. I felt like we did not need His help getting a car, but we really needed His help in supplying a baby. God was showing me how much more that He could and would do; but I missed it.

This is one of those times that I forgot what God had done, but instead solely focused on what was wrong, what hurt, and what I was currently struggling with. I dismissed what God had done for us, because it was not what I wanted or expected; however, He provided not just what we needed but also more than we could imagine.

REFLECTION

Write down a handful of things that God has done in your life. Don’t dismiss how little or big they might seem. They are all His testimonies, and just a warm-up to what is yet to come. When you feel like God is withholding good from you, refer back to your list.