Growth in the Wilderness

Foreward

My husband and I walked a hard and long road of infertility and in that time I was broken and lost. In 2012 ‘A Mum in Waiting’ was published which showed a very raw and real account of the eight year journey to that point. From there a blog was born for the road to follow and within the words you can see growth take place, where God so lovingly and purposefully picked up the pieces and started mending my entire being.

The words within the pages of this book show the journey walked over the three years of the life of the blog. There was more treatment and more losses to grapple with. The pain and navigating wasn’t easy. But all along you can see God’s mighty hand at work and the way He did the transformation that only He can do.

At the eleven year mark on the journey while our arms remained empty my heart was far from it. This junction saw the blog wrap up as God purposed a new chapter. Not wanting to lose those ups and downs that may encourage and challenge others they’ve been put into this work. You can see the growth that God can bring, even from what feels like a vast wilderness.

Our egg collection – 26th Mar ‘13

Last night was very nice to not have to do any injections at all. My tender tummy from the growing follicles greatly appreciated it. We went to bed feeling very excited for what lay ahead. So much so that I was dreaming about going to Fertility Plus, only in the dream they gave us a gift, saying it was from God and turned out to be our two miracles. I woke to realize in my excitement I had clearly missed some relatively big steps to that.

The morning had a later start than last time as we needed to be there at 9.45am for a 10.30am slot in theater for the egg collection. We were able to relax in bed and chat about our exciting day before getting up. Brett was allowed breakfast so he got himself sorted with that while I showered and got ready to head in to the clinic. Had to try pretty hard to remember no perfume, no deodorant and no moisturizer while I was getting dressed. Felt bare without my nail polish or jewelry too. The funny thing is they had given instructions on not having anything scented so the night before I had given my self a facial and asked Brett to smell my face to check it was not heavily scented. Otherwise I would have had to wash it and not put anything on. Had to laugh at the things I get my poor husband to do in the name of getting our miracles.

On the drive in we both remarked about how much more relaxed this time felt. It felt like we were in the car just heading to see friends or do some errands. Last time God was so faithful and again with this time. I know this time there is a deep sense of peace but I am sure it also had a large part to do with the fact last time we had just found out our dear friend was on his death bed after a long fight with cancer. That caused many emotions and much anxiety, which clearly was not an ideal scenario to be heading into such a significant procedure.

We arrived at the clinic to the sun shining, people bustling around the car-parks and inside the buildings. Heading up the elevator to level five I felt my stomach flutter with excitement. We had made it to this point and that filled me with such hope. I couldn't wait to find out what God did as I had not prayed all the specifics that I had first time around. First time around I had prayed I would get eight eggs, four would fertilize and then the right number last till transfer and at least one frozen. I also prayed that I would be awake during the procedure to feel apart of such a crucial moment. All of which He answered by the way. This time having felt so relaxed I asked God to simply do what He felt was best on all fronts and was looking forward to seeing how it unfolded.

Sitting in reception we waited for a nurse to come and get us. After some time a new nurse we had not met came along, saying Anna would be the one with us but was caught up and had asked her to do the initial process. Into the recovery room we went to put away my bag, get into a gown and go through the initial checks. Then the embryologist came to discuss the steps and also Anna to put in the IV line and talk over a few more things. Before long the nice doctor from our first scan came along to go through her portion of it and then it was into theater.

I hopped on the bed, legs up in stirrups, lay back and they all went about their jobs around me. Brett sat in a chair next to me and watched all the commotion too. Before long I had the blood pressure cusp on my arm, the oxygen monitor on my finger and it was go time. Anna injected in the sedatives and pain relief to the IV line, which I felt very quickly. The oxygen went on and we were set to go. I was alert and participating right from the beginning.

We all had a good banter and chat as the process went on. They were such a chilled out and caring team which was just perfect. They even allowed Brett to take some photos as I wanted to share them with you guys so you could have a small peek into what the process looked like. One after one the eggs were collected and by the end there were nine! How amazing is that. Brett and I were very happy with that result, as were the team.

From there we headed into recovery. Anna talked through some more things with us, then the embryologist once again spoke with us, and Brett took care of his portion. Thankfully I had learnt from last time and had my phone handy so I was not bored. I text those few that get the group updates and went onto Facebook. The time passed slowly with people coming in and out. Finally I was discharged and we headed out the door.

Brett and I discussed lunch as I'd not eaten since 7.30pm the night before and was feeling rather peckish. Realizing that after transfer I wouldn't be able to have sushi for nine months we decided to go to our fav place in Ellerslie for one last enjoyment of it. Then home for resting. I must admit I am not cramping, I don't feel the need for rest but am going to follow instructions and do my best to take it easy. There goes tomorrows plans of housework, washing and groceries like I usually do on a Thursday, but all for a good cause so why not.

So where to from here you ask? Tomorrow the embryologist phones to let us know how many fertilized. Then in the afternoon a nurse phones us to inform us whether the embryo transfer is looking likely to be Saturday or Monday. If there is one stand out embryo the transfer will go ahead on Saturday and the nurse will give us a time on Thursday afternoon, with the embryologist confirming we are good to go on Saturday morning. If there are a few embryos that are fighting for top position then we will wait it out for Monday transfer to see which comes out on top for the best chance of success.

There was an embryologist with the eggs coming into the incubator, checking over them and giving us all the update on how many are viable. Nine being the final number for us, which is great from twelve follicles. We are very happy with the results!

This is me on the theater bed taking in all the commotion around me, participating in the conversations and feeling very blessed by God once again allowing us to breeze through the process!