Under the Streetlights

A brisk breeze sends shivers down my spine as the moonlight dances off wintery Lake Washington. My friends and family have all gone to bed or retired to the couch for late-night television - but not me. I've snuck off to the dock in the backyard on this crisp winter night to seek God. Most of my generation thinks that God stopped talking a long time ago, if He ever started talking to begin with. But the longer I live, the more I question those assumptions. I think we live in a God-soaked universe and we just need the eyes to see it. As the waves roll under the dock and lap against the shore, I stare up at a full moon and wonder what it means to live a life that is full and rich; a life that has substance and weight. I wonder what it would look like to be an agent of light. I want to live a life that has meaning and significance. I want to taste the fullness of it and be blown away by its beauty. Looking back toward the house, I can see the silhouettes of the people I love through the windows, outlined by the glow of florescent rays as they dance along the walls and ceilings inside.

I don't have a functioning TV at my house. It's kind of hard for a guy in his twenties to go without a TV. Most eight-year-olds are more in touch with foreign affairs and who’s pregnant in Hollywood. But the separation is worth it. I am craving something more than cathode rays and pop culture. My heart starves for a truth deeper than what CNN has to offer. That's why I've come to sit on the dock by Lake Washington in late December, watching the moon dance in and out of thick clouds as frost begins to form on the ground. I want to know what it means to be truly alive. I want to live with my eyes wide open, and be connected with Love in this moment that graces me. I want to live with an awareness of God’s presence and seize the life He offers. I can’t let another day slip by where I feel half-asleep.

I don’t think God is done talking to us. In fact, I don’t think He ever stopped. I wonder out loud what it is God wants to say to our generation. I wonder what He would have us do. I wonder how we might go about finding abundant life in a sea of mediocrity and half-truths.

I think God wants us to understand that He is with us and He is bigger than our problems. I think He wants to encourage us in the fact that evil will not endure forever, but that God will put an end to it one day; that one day heaven will collide with earth. As I ponder these things the clouds break, revealing the stars in all their beauty, as hundreds of little lights shine down through a crisp winter sky. All at once, my mind runs wild thinking about how big and endless the universe is, and how there is no such thing as up and down because the world is round and the universe stretches out in every direction and we can’t find the edges.

This is why I don't watch TV. My mind can hardly stay focused as it is. I don’t need help encouraging my hyperactive mind. Most of the time I can’t sit still and listen long enough to hear what God might be saying. Most of us can’t stay off our iPhones long enough to tune in. But God is still speaking. I think He wants to tell us that His way is better, and that His way is best when we walk it with Him.

Perhaps it is up there, written into that vast array of stars. For if those stars were forged by a hand, that hand would know no limits. Any purposes He created would be known fully by Him alone. His power would be limited only by His own nature, the nature of love, and the self-limits imposed by love. He would have the capacity to command the wind and the waves; the forces of nature would yield and bow. Parting the Red Sea would be nothing. Turning the material make-up of water into wine would be perfectly conceivable, because He would be in, above, over, and through that vast swirling universe of galaxies. His Kingdom would be an unstoppable force, and He would be worth following at any cost.

I think God is a dreamer. I think He has a vision for this reality, something that is achievable right here and now. I think He is looking for friends who will just say yes, and not criticize or analyze or give their top ten best excuses. He wants people who catch wind of the vision, who see the beauty in it, and who want to come along for the adventure.