Living a Balanced Life

CHAPTER NINETEEN: WHY BALANCED LIVING REQUIRES BOTH AN INWARD AND OUTWARD JOURNEY

In these modern times, we see far too many examples of unbalanced living – where lives have burnt out and become undone due to a failure to recognize the presence and comfort of God, the love and support of others, and the inadequacy of self help (“I can do it all by myself!”).

Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, and Michael Jackson may have been world-renown celebrities, each having millions of adoring fans. But they also had untimely and questionable deaths, surrounded by vials of numerous drugs and prescriptions, feelings of loneliness, and lives lived that eventually brought them less pleasure and much more pain.

Well-known politicians, including a recent U.S. President, a recent state governor, and a recent U. S. Congressman have chosen the pleasure for self-gratification over the needs and concerns of their families, their supporters, and their constituents. And as a result of that kind of choice, they have paid the price in terms of their character, reputation, and political effectiveness by enabling others to discover how unbalanced their personal lives and actions can be.

But scandal and personality flaws are not the only indicators of unbalanced living. Even those who seriously attempt to work hard and remain morally straight can become unbalanced by over work, the drive for perfection, the desire to please, and the pressure to get everything done. In other words, there is a real reason why some folks in their respective life work, whatever it might be, can become burned out, worn out, and stressed out, to the point that what they do no longer has meaning or brings joy to their lives. And that reason has to do with the negative effects of living unbalanced lives!

A recent series on television has been nominated and won numerous awards for its acting performances, its compelling story line, and its vivid and memorable depictions of what big city life was like back in the 1960’s. This particular TV series, Mad Men, (winner of 3 successive Emmys for best television drama series) depicts the career pressures and personal lives of a group of men and women who work in the hectic world of creative advertising. As the viewer follows an accounting of the lives of this particular group, one can’t help but notice how many of the characters in this series, drink too much, smoke too much, are unfaithful in their marriages, have numerous affairs, and will do most anything to get ahead. Mad Men is an addictive and compelling television series to watch. Much of the interest to watch these dramatizations come from our fascination with addictive personalities and with characterizations of men and women who drive themselves into living lives that are lonely, empty, and out of balance.

The lead character in Mad Men is a man named Don Draper. Draper is a handsome, brilliant and highly creative advertising executive who from outward appearances seems to have it all – money, recognition, power, and success. He also has a beautiful wife (an ex-model) and three engaging children. But his life is based on deception, lies, infidelities, and family secrets. And when certain truths about his past are unveiled and revealed, Draper loses much of what has meaning and importance for his life. In one episode, Draper is awakened from a drunken stupor by a phone call from his ex-wife. She is livid because he has failed to pick up his children for the scheduled weekend time he was to have with them. Trying to collect his thoughts as well as his bearings, Draper discovers he is in bed with a young waitress (someone he doesn’t remember being with). The look on his face, as the reality of his failure as a father, a husband, and a man of his word sinks in, tells it all in terms of having lost any sense of balance in his life.

But one does not have to be a politician, a movie star, a famous singer, or a character in a television program to show the effects of living a life that is not in balance. One does not have to be famous or be well-known to illustrate what happens when one’s life goes out of whack. We can witness the results of unbalanced living right where we live - in our neighborhood, among friends, in our own homes among family members, and even within ourselves.

If loving God, loving others, and loving self are essential realities needed to experience and live a balanced life, where do our lives fall into place? Are they balanced, unbalanced, or somewhere in between? There is a reason why scripture tells us that loving the Lord, God, with all one’s mind, heart, soul and strength and one’s neighbor as one’s self is the greatest commandment. Perhaps it can be understood to be the greatest commandment because it is a description, as well as a prescription, for a balanced life. And it involves realities that can be experienced in fruitful ways in people’s lives. When one has a balanced and healthy relationship with God, with others, and with one’s self, the purpose of life, the meaning of life, and the joy and fulfillment of life can be understood and personally experienced!

Loving God, loving neighbor, and loving self become positive realities for balanced living when they are connected and inter-related. They are positive and productive because all three of these realities are part of the same truth and are reflections of God’s presence. Each reality is not meant to stand alone or to be separate from one another.

If one only concentrates on loving God, the result is not a balanced life! Seeking to love God without seeking to love one’s neighbor and one’s self, results in sanctimonious self-righteousness and rigid fundamentalism. It is a perception that too often leads to the thinking that unless others share my particular religious views and practices, they can be judged, rejected, and even condemned by me as sinners and as ungodly persons. Without the balance of loving neighbor and loving self, my love of God can turn into a religious rigidity which will turn others away from God. I can become so concentrated and fixated on loving God that I will fail to recognize and respond to the needs of people!

If one only seeks to love one’s neighbor, the result is not a balanced life! Seeking to love my neighbor, without loving God and loving myself, may result in good works; but it is good works without faith! Such good works, devoid of me loving God and loving myself, will ultimately lead to spiritual, physical, and emotional exhaustion and emptiness. Such conditions can occur when I become so focused on the needs of others I push God away and neglect my own needs.