Kissing Frogs and Trying on Shoes

I once had a young lady ask me, “why is it that the guys I like don’t like me, and the guys who like me, I don’t like”. Some cultures still match up couples through matchmakers or by arranged marriages between families. I remember thinking in college that I was not having much luck on my own and maybe these cultures had it right. Today we are going to address the art of flirting, letting the guy you like know in an “appropriate way” that you are interested. What do we do? What do we say? We often become so unsure of ourselves that we resort to dressing and acting in ways that don’t really represent who we are in order to get a guys attention. Or, in sharp contrast, we clam up and become a wallflower that doesn’t know how to talk to a guy and even runs from a room if one approaches.

God has given you gifts and talents. One may be a talented athlete who has the gift of humor, while another may be talented in music and have the gift of grace. Being comfortable with who you are, is the key to flirting. I will talk a lot about not buying into the world’s view of relationships, except in this one case. If you watch a television show and just focus on the characteristics of women who are flirting, though usually inappropriately, they all appear very “sure of themselves”.

Here are some questions to think about:

Do you look your friends in the eye when they talk to you, but look away from a guy you like?

Do you actually talk to the guy you like or tell a friend to talk to him?

Do you present yourself in a provocative way in order to get their attention?

I know self-confidence can be difficult to attain, especially at this stage of life. You have been growing up so quickly and are just trying to keep up with yourself. There is that little girl inside screaming, “I have no clue what is going on, and somebody might find out”. Would it make you feel better to know that a lot of the guys have that same voice inside?

If you can talk to a guy (as yourself) and just be friendly (without telling your whole life story), he’s going to take notice. If you are comfortable and make him feel comfortable you are being successful. Realize, however, that you can’t make him, nor do you want to make him like you. If you are meant to take it to the “dating” stage of this fairy tale, then he’s going to have to be attracted to you too. Also, remember that you don’t always know the whole story. Maybe he likes you but doesn’t have time for dating or relationships. Maybe he likes you but doesn’t want to sacrifice your friendship. Or maybe he just doesn’t see you in the “girlfriend” kind of way. I know that it can be difficult to interrupt the dream of the fairy tale but that doesn’t mean your story ends there. It just may be with another prince.

Thought of the day:

How did God make you?

Identify your talents and gifts.

In your journey of “finding yourself”, who are you?

Isaiah 43: 7

everyone who is called by My name, • whom I created for My glory, whom I formed and made.”