He Said, She Said, God Said

HE SAID

I remember that January morning quite vividly. The ground was crisp and the air stung like an ice pick dancing across exposed skin. As I brushed the fresh coat of snow off my truck, reality was beginning to sink in. A week in the Caribbean had dulled me to the new realities of my life. But as I sputtered off to work that morning, I can recall saying to myself, “Did I really just get married?” I realized in that moment I would never park my truck in the garage again. “Marriage is hard.”

God has ordained many things to conform us into the image of his son, and among the great many sanctifiers, marriage ranks at the top! In the covenant of marriage, a man and a woman learn the intense crucible of patience, service, and above all, forgiveness. From the very beginning, God created man and woman to represent him as his vice-agents on planet earth. As image bearers, the couple was to reflect God’s leadership, protection, service, and provision across the landscape of Eden. In Genesis 1:27 the author writes, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Although God created man and woman equally in his image, he did not create them as exact replicas. Pastor and author John MacArthur, in his book Different by Design, states this truth as follows: “Like God, each has a rational personality. Men and women alike possess intellect, emotion, and will, by which they are able to think, feel, and choose. Humanity was not, however, created in God’s image as perfectly holy and unable to sin. Nor were man and woman created in His image essentially. They have never possessed His supernatural attributes, such as omniscience, omnipotence, immutability, or omnipresence. People are only human, not at all divine.”

The reality that a man and a woman are not divine is something we will quickly realize once the tuxedo is returned and household chores are assigned. Understanding that individuals are designed to represent God’s glory is the key to navigating the joys and the difficulties that are sure to come in marriage.

A Leader

Gina was finishing her teaching degree when we got married. In addition to working a part-time job and completing her classroom studies, she was also assigned to full-time student teaching in a home for emotionally and physically abused children. As the youngest of three and the only male child in the home, I was accustomed to a freshly made bed and a warm meal served promptly at 5:30 every evening. Much to my dismay, I entered our home on a dark February night only to find a strange new paradigm. There was nothing on the table prepared for me. If the severity of this offense was not enough, there was no smiling face waiting to serve me as I walked through the door, and ask me about my day. How could this be? I thought to myself, “This is not what marriage is about.” I was not told of these things when I made the decision to trade in my bed and breakfast service for a wife. Where was my dinner?

Like many men, I had an assumption on how this marriage thing was to work. I had some church background and enough instinct to realize that men are called to be leaders in their home. Yet, just weeks into my new marriage, trouble was brewing. She didn’t seem to follow very well. I began to question, “Did I marry the right woman?” . . . “Were we too young?” . . . and worse yet, “What if I married the unruly wife of Proverbs?!”