Discovering God's Design

Biblical womanhood. This phrase tends to evoke images of a quiet, timid, and submissive woman who is skilled in cooking, sewing, crafting, and mothering. Let me take a wild guess: in your mind, a biblical woman is the Proverbs 31 woman. And you have given up on ever being her. In all honesty, you are not even sure you want to attempt to emulate her. (Actually, you may be thinking, “she seems quite boring.”) If this describes your view of a biblical woman, then welcome! You are not alone.

My journey to understanding biblical womanhood began fifteen years ago. I was getting ready to graduate from college, and many of my friends were getting married. Attending wedding after wedding and seeing the joy on my friends’ faces as they married the man of their dreams was priceless. (What woman doesn’t like a good love story?) Inevitably, the pastor began reciting the wedding vows. He turned to the woman and asked, “Do you promise to love, cherish, submit, and cleave to your husband?” At that point, the hair on the back of my neck bristled. I looked forward to the day I would love a man—but submit to a man—not on your life! I prided myself in being independent, strong, and capable of handling life on my own. A man who had the last word in a discussion or decision was not appealing. I was comforted in discovering that submission was a thing of the past, and Jesus’ death and resurrection “liberated” women from the role of submission. However, slowly but surely, God began to challenge my newfound freedom.

After graduating from college, I spent two years overseas working with the International Mission Board. My team leaders were a married couple who took it upon themselves to disciple the eight young singles under them. Their marriage had a rhythm that I had not witnessed before. The wife was a strong, outspoken, independent, and educated woman who knew her convictions and stood up for them. However, she also adored her family and submitted to her husband. Her husband was just as impressive. He was a strong, distinguished, and biblically educated man—but he was not intimidated by his wife’s personality. Instead, he led her, and she followed him. For the first time in my life, I began to wonder if I had misunderstood the biblical meaning of submission and womanhood.

After my overseas assignment, I returned and immediately enrolled in seminary. The goal was to get a counseling degree with the intention of adequately counseling and discipling others. However, God had a different plan. Two weeks into the semester, I dropped two of my counseling classes and enrolled in a women’s studies class titled A Biblical Theology of Womanhood. To say the class infuriated me would be an understatement! Every Tuesday and Thursday I endured my professor and her teaching as she explained the biblical roles of men and women within society, the church, and the home. How could this highly educated woman proclaim: “The highest calling of a woman is to be a wife and a mother”? I was neither married nor a mother, so I must have missed the “high calling!” (This was said with seething sarcasm.) Throughout that semester—with me kicking and screaming—God began to slowly reveal the sinfulness of my rebellious heart and the truth hidden within—I was a feminist and did not know it.

In my quest for independence and individualism, I lost sight of what it meant to be a Christ follower. In the process, I refused to surrender my womanhood to God. Without a heart of surrender, understanding God’s purpose for authority and submitting one’s life to His authority is impossible. It was refreshing to learn that submission to God’s authority didn’t mean He wanted to stifle the person or personality He created in me, nor did God call me to be a “doormat” for others to walk over. I can be an independent, strong, sometimes stubborn, educated woman and also be obedient to God’s pattern for womanhood. (Praise the Lord for that!)

Biblical womanhood is not about conforming to a particular personality type. Instead, biblical womanhood is about conforming to God’s design for womanhood. (After all, He is the One who made us.) My prayer is that God would use Discovering God’s Design to help you in your journey toward understanding who you are as a woman and to discover how God wants to use you in His kingdom. If you are at the beginning of this journey and the words submission, roles, and authority sound like bad words, then I am glad you are here. (Well . . . at least you are considering being “here.”) I pray my journey will challenge and encourage you to move forward and discover all that God has for you. At times, you will probably get angry with me and want to throw the book across the room. After you give the book a good lob, go over, pick it back up, and continue the journey. You will not be sorry. However, you may be one who rarely struggles with submission and authority, and I am so glad you joined me. (We can learn much from your example.) Prayerfully, this study will help you press on in your journey as a woman and encourage you to stay the course.

I do not want this to be a one-sided journey. My intention is that you would interact with the material and take your own journey to restoring biblical womanhood. There will be main questions titled “Rest Stop” scattered throughout the study. So, pay close attention and resist the urge to hurry past them. Instead, stop, soak in the question, and then respond. I am confident that God will show you great truths hidden in your very own journey. Never forget that God desires to use every woman—regardless of her personality and background—to be a powerful force in His kingdom