Falling … Again

She stood and crossed the room to the portrait of her husband, Allen Michael Dodson, and looked deep to the eyes that had held her heart captive for over 30 years. She brushed her hand over the picture that hung on the wall watching over her. She let her fingers rest on his lips. She could still feel his lips on hers; the way they enveloped not only her mouth but her whole being. She closed her eyes and could still feel the way his arms felt when he held her close. Close in her “safe” place. That place right in the center of his chest, where her head rested and then he would wrap his arms protectively around her and just hold her there. She longed for that feeling again. That feeling that made her feel “all is right with the world when I’m in your arms.”

As she opened her eyes she smiled slightly to herself. Remembering back, theirs had been a love story all in itself. From the moment they met, she knew. She knew he was the one. She had even declared that fact to her college roommate who thought she was crazy.

“You just met this guy. How do you know?” She asked.

There was no explanation. Deborah just knew! She felt it deep down inside. It was like she had known him all her life even though introductions had just been made. She felt like she knew him, more than as person, she knew his soul. She just knew this was who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Doubts crossed her mind, however, when after four months he didn’t seem as attentive as she thought he should be. All of a sudden one guy after another began to tell her she was amazing and if she were their girl they wouldn’t take her for granted. She had confronted him that she had doubts about his commitment to her.

“What’s wrong?” he had asked.

“I don’t know….I thought that when I fell in love there would be trumpets and fireworks. You know, like in the movies. The couple comes together for the first kiss and in the background fireworks are shooting overhead and the music swells as the trumpets herald the much awaited kiss. But instead there was silence.”

If nothing else, Allen was a romantic. He caught on quickly and a few days later took her out to the lake where he could show his love for her. He took her hands in his and held them there as he looked in her eyes and told her that he loved her. Told her that she was the only one for him. Told her that he had waited his whole life to meet her. Then he took out a boom box, the one that takes two hands to carry, and played a recording of trumpets sounding a fanfare. Then he struck a match and lit fireworks one after the other, filling the night sky up in brilliant light.

“What are you doing?” she asked, slightly amazed and bewildered.

”You said you thought there would be trumpets and fireworks, so, I wanted to give you trumpets and fireworks.” Her heart melted. She hugged him and kissed him and once again she knew.

That was the kind of love she was missing. The kind that says: I’ll do what it takes to let you know that I LOVE YOU!

She smiled again at the memory. She breathed in deep and said goodnight to the portrait on the wall as she had done every night for the past three years.

As she slipped into bed, her mind turned to the week ahead of her. She had just begun her own catering business, Elegant Essentials Catering, and up to this point, business had been slow. But now that the holiday season was upon them it seemed like she had quite a lot of orders to fulfill. As she turned out the light she said a prayer, rolled over, and tried to sleep. A tear made its way down her cheek and rested on her pillow, a reminder of the dark and stormy night that continued to rain in her heart.