I Was Blind, but Now I See

Disappointment

Just starting out as a gardener, I guess you can call me an apprentice. Didn't know much about it but I've looked on and assisted in sowing and putting down fresh soil for others. It looked pretty easy and I desired to plant my own flowers, fruits and vegetables. I asked a few questions here and there and got on the move. Not forgetting my compose batch, miracle grow soil, plant food and all my gardening tools, I planted good seeds and began to see sprouts, happy with glee to come out the next day, I planted some more. Some plants grew faster than others and some remained dormant. Not losing hope, I began to see fruition. Watering my garden like I was instructed to do, rejoicing and praising my God, I continued the process. Like any first fruit, you tithe, share and eat. The first crop was green beans, I was more than excited I was ecstatic, more fruit arrived. I noticed how fresh my vegetables tasted, and it was good to know they came from my hand. Than the inevitable happened, I started to see perfectly digged holes in the ground and scattered vegetables. I was like, What in the world? I couldn't figure it out, it rained alot that season but I couldn't believe the rain did it and so I would replant the discards and go back to my first works. Then one day drawing back my curtains to let the sun in the house, looking out the window I found the theives...it was a squirrel and some birds. I had no idea that squirrels were into compose and could smell it under ground to boot. My plants were dying because I was unaware of what came along with the process. I was discouraged, sadden and asked myself what didn't you do that you were supposed to? I followed the instructions, and then I remembered that someone told me to drop canyon pepper around my flowers to keep back the intruders. Its not just sowing the seed into the ground and moving along, more comes along with the dream, and the desire. It's like wanting to make a dish you have seen in a cook book or on a calendar with recipes and realized that you didn't have all the ingredients but you still wanted to make the dish. Well that was me, I didn't have all the ingredients and yes you guessed it...still lacking that patience. Isaiah 66: 8, 9 comes to mind, "Who hath heard such a thing? who hath seen such things? Shall the earth be made to bring forth in one day? or shall a nation be born at once? for as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children." "Shall I bring to birth, and not cause to bring forth? saith the Lord: shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb? saith thy God." I wanted to do it anyway. Every seed is not the same and grow in different seasons. So I was discouraged for nothing but I had to learn that lesson along the way. Not too much water, not too much sun, and get the canyon pepper. Was it meant to be...was I a gardener or just a sower? Now don't misunderstand me...both positions have great rewards but was I just thinking about the work, the time, the effort, and the energy for it to just die. Some plant, some water but God gives the increase. It caused me to reflect back to the parable Jesus gave about the sower in the book of Matthew 13:3-23, when you get the chance read it for yourself. There was a lesson in all of this, first natural than spiritual. I had to wait for God and remembering that we can not do nothing without Him.