Survival Skills

My heart was racing, and I was barely breathing. I couldn’t see the man, but I knew he had a loaded gun, cocked and ready, pointed right at me.

“Walk up to the wall.”

I inched forward, arms held high. I was grateful he hadn’t pulled the trigger but reluctant to move farther away from my only escape route.

“Turn around and sit down.”

I complied. I felt an overwhelming urge to run as fast as I could away from this place I had searched so hard to find. But I knew I was being watched. So I stayed where I was, looking and listening for any sign of the man with the gun.

A muffled voice commanded, “Don’t move.”

Startled by the voice, which sounded like it was right behind me, I turned my head and found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. The face of the man holding the gun was obscured by what looked like a gas mask.

Someone yanked my backpack off me, almost pulling me over. When I tried to turn to see who it was, the masked man pressed the gun to my temple. Within seconds I was blindfolded, and my wrists and ankles were bound tightly with duct tape.

“You will stay here until the Council decides what to do with you,” the muffled voice said, gruffly.

I heard the crunch of departing footsteps, leaving me completely alone and completely helpless. I started to cry. I was convinced that what I was looking for was on the other side of the wall behind me. But now I had little hope of reaching the other side of the wall. In all likelihood I would be executed right there on the forest floor, with the object of my search just beyond my reach.

#

The twisted path that led me into this forest began in Scientific Paradigms class. Just eight months earlier, my main concerns were grades, boyfriends, and homesickness during my first semester at Gerald Ford College.

“You will have fifty-five minutes to complete the exam. If you need to leave before the end of class, you will have to turn in your exam and you will not be allowed to return.”

Dr. Franklin’s instructions were exactly the same as those he gave for our first exam. I struggled through that first test. Anxiety got the better of me, and I couldn’t focus. The multiple-choice questions weren’t too bad, but I didn’t even finish the essay questions.

This time, though, I had spent a lot more time preparing. I was ready.

Dr. Franklin began handing out the exams at the front of the room. One by one, I watched my classmates bend over their papers. I glanced over at my best friend, Ashley, and flashed her a nervous smile. Ashley gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed, “Good luck, Christy.”

To avoid repeating my poor performance on the first test, I flipped straight to the back of the test. I breezed through the essay questions, pleased my intense studying was paying off.

Turning back to the first page of the test, I glanced up at the clock. There were twenty minutes left in the class period. I noticed how warm I felt. I still had several pages of questions to answer. I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Dr. Franklin scanned the room intently, his clipboard propped up on the desk in front of him. A student from the back of the room was the first to turn in his test, and he seemed to be in a hurry to get out the door. Could he possibly be done already?

Come on, now, focus. I forced my eyes back down to the papers on my desk. Multiple choice is the easy part. You can do this. The first few questions were tough. I worked through them carefully, giving each my best guess. Half-way down the page, the words started blurring. Man, it’s hot in here. I unbuttoned another button on my shirt and pushed up my sleeves. I read question four for the fifth time and filled in a dot on the answer sheet. It felt like a random guess. I hoped some hidden knowledge was influencing my selection.

Dr. Franklin got up and wandered around the room. The click of his oxfords on the tile floor stopped right behind me. Is he looking at my paper? I didn’t dare turn to see. I heard the door open again; another student hurried out. I flipped quickly through the test—four and a half more pages of multiple-choice and true-false questions. It would be difficult to get that much done in the remaining fifteen minutes. True-false questions usually go pretty quickly, so I skipped to that section. At least there I had a 50-50 chance, even if I couldn't remember anything I had studied.

I had nearly completed the true-false section when Dr. Franklin returned to his seat. I glanced up at him and then over to the door. Students were leaving in greater numbers now. My attention wandered from the door to the plants sitting on the adjacent counter. Some of those plants aren’t looking too healthy. Perhaps they need water or more light. I’d never noticed how sad they looked before. I suppose that was a good sign, indicating I actually paid attention during class, rather than watch the vegetation grow.

I forced my attention back to the papers on my desk. Only ten minutes left, and there I was, musing about the health of the houseplants. I quickly filled in two more “false” answers and flipped back to the multiple-choice questions. The words danced all over the page, and I struggled to catch my breath. I shook my head and took a sip from my water bottle. My hand trembled as I filled in a couple more answers. I couldn’t stay in that room a second longer, despite the many blanks left on my answer sheet. I grabbed my bag and water bottle, dropped my test off at the front of the room, and slipped out the door.

I walked a few steps down the hall and stopped to wait for Ashley. Class would be done in five minutes, and we would definitely want to rehash the test over lunch. I leaned back against the wall, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. My legs felt shaky. I sank down to the floor and felt tears welling up. I thought I had prepared well for this test. Why couldn’t I make it through a few pages of multiple-choice questions? I had had a couple of late nights working on papers that week, but it hadn’t been any worse than usual. Maybe I should have eaten more for breakfast. But the way I felt during the test wasn’t exactly like hunger or sleepiness. It was a feeling that I had never experienced before. What was going on?