Living with Death, Dying with Life
The Story of an Incredible Journey
by
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The Mystery of Unanswered Prayer
August 14, 2010
Oh what a night. Scott dozed. When I slept it was good sleep, but at 1:45A.M. I was up with Scott, who was up for the second time. We spent our wakeful hours listening to our favorite music, talking, and reaffirming our trust in the sovereign hand of God. Now who can complain about not being able to sleep? These are some rich times. The flip side....these are also some miserable times. The itching in Scott’s scalp has improved, but is not totally gone. He is still suffering. We both think that when the rest of his hair is gone, the itching will probably subside. Within two days he has gone almost totally bald. I had hoped he wouldn't lose his hair. It’s another sadness, but something God is requiring us to let go. We've been doing a lot of "letting go" these past couple of months.
So what do we do when we pray our hearts out and do not see the answers? Like..."God you can have all of Scott, the cancer is everywhere, but please, leave us his brain!" And the next scan reveals he has six brain tumors. Or how about..."God, he is suffering so. Please, one of your many names is God of All Comfort. Please, right this minute relieve his suffering and comfort him." And the suffering increases. Some may say there is no God, or if he is there, He doesn't hear us or care....logical conclusions in a culture of "instant" answers. But the truth lies way beyond these perceptions.
Last night I finally fell into bed at 4:00 A.M. Scott was still up in the recliner, unable to lie down because of the sensitivity of his head. I laid in bed and quietly poured my heart out to God on behalf of my dear husband. God filled me with the awareness that He is hearing my prayers. And if the sovereign God of the universe, the creator, sustainer, and redeemer, hears my prayers, I can be assured that He will also answer.
So we pray, and He says "no" or "not yet". He is the sovereign GOD! He hears us, and we can trust Him. Many times He has a higher purpose than can be accomplished with an "instant" answer. “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14 NIV). He is teaching us to be still while we wait on Him. There is a battle going on, and battles take time.
Our prayer is that you may find the sovereign God sufficient in your own story. If we can encourage you in that regard, then our suffering is worth it.
We love you all,
Joyce, for both of us.
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About the Book
Life had thrown us a lot of curves in our thirty-four years of marriage, and with each curve we thought we had seen it all. Then the next curve would come …
This is the story of our final curve together. It was by far the hardest and yet the most blessed curve of all. From the beginning we understood that what we were about to face was not just for us but for the benefit of others. And so I share the hardest, most blessed nine months of our lives with the prayer that it will bless and encourage you.
About the Author
Diagnosis: Terminal cancer. That was the shot that launched their journey. Joyce Burlingame, former teacher, pastor’s wife, and mother, spent the next nine months caring for her husband and watching the many ways God proved Himself as they faced the inevitable. From Columbia, South Carolina, to heaven’s gates, God’s unfailing love was unmistakable.