Total Worship

Chapter 2 God of the Universe. Critical defining moments of our faith are often during the times of great discomforts and overwhelming distressful situations. That’s when we get out of our comfort zones and put more effort in order to change situations at hand. Though it does not necessarily have to be like that, situations often compel us to push our bounds in prayer and faith, seeking God more. However, to the body of Christ this should not be the case. Consistent and deep fellowship with God must be a natural phenomenon to a recreated man. We should not seek God because of problems. Of course problems will always come, but when they do we are always ready to celebrate our victory. Nevertheless this was the case with me. I was still a ‘baby’ in the knowledge of God. Though I have been born again two years earlier and committed to prayer and fasting, the idea of intimacy with God still evaded me significantly. I trusted God to deal with my troubles, yet did not know there is a better way. And I am convinced it is the case with many in the body of Christ now. Yet it was in perilous times that I had an amazing encounter with God when I knew Him as the El Olam (God of the Universe). My Critical Times I will always remember how God changed my life through worship. Most fundamental for us as believers, if we want to be able to get out of situations victoriously, is the revelation which will develop concrete living faith, in our spirits. This time God revealed himself to me and I saw the power of worship. It was in the year 2000, tat something remarkable, which transformed my spiritual life happened. I was studying towards an Honours degree in Social Sciences and had a lot of stressful challenges. Of most importance to note is that, by then my family was facing financial constraints, which to a larger extend affected my studies and emotions. I would go home and find that they didn’t even have a mere tooth paste. That’s how bad the situation was. Have you ever felt regretting the fact that you were born in your family? ‘I had a poor heritage,’ I thought to myself. I was not yet aware of the heritage I have in Christ. This affected me, such that sometimes I had to depend on handouts. At times I would see other students drinking alcohol and I would think to myself, ‘for one beer they drink I could buy bread and survive for a day or two.’ They were fortunate and had money to waste on alcohol. Yet some of us have gone around not knowing where to get the next meal and still had to study at the same time, to chase the dream of a better future. It was at this point hat I almost had an emotional breakdown. I even had to seek psychological intervention, but when I came out of each session, it felt like I needed something more than empathy and powerful than human effort. Indeed I needed a miracle worker. I was in a place where I knew I had too much for a human to carry. Most importantly, I could not afford to buy any study materials. This was my experience since my first year at the university. My classmates could afford to buy books. When given an assignment, I still had to compete with them for the little available reference resources in the library. Unfortunately for me, most of the times, I would find that they were already taken when I got there. I had to wait for them to finish their assignments, and then I would start mine. At times some would only borrow me study material on condition that I would teach them what I leant and share my notes. It was a norm for me to work against time, because of these constraints. This one time, after a lot of struggle, I managed to draft my assignment with just few days left. I went to the computer lab to type the assignment. When nearing the end, the assignment would just disappear and I was told it was a vicious virus. It happened the first time and the second time and I didn’t complain. On the day before the due day it happened again and it was late in the afternoon. I got out of that lab and I said to God, ‘now I am tired.’ My neck was stiff and tight with cramps and had mild headache. I saw blackness before me. My hope was getting waned.  I even discovered that I had heart palpitations. I felt that it was not fair. I was the only one born again in my class, but it seemed that I had to work even harder than every one of them, for only little results. I had to put more effort than all of them. It felt like it was God’s fault, because obviously I was doing my best. Why couldn’t He protect my interests? If He really loved and cared for me, why is He not protecting me against the sabotage of the enemy. If He was the all knowing, the all-sufficient, all-powerful, why didn’t He do something about it? Those who were not born again had it easier than I did. So I started questioning the authenticity of the word. All the promises that we “shall be the head and not tails,” seemed to be just only motivation, with only a placebo effect. It seemed that it was only meant to make us feel good for a moment, without the real life changing substance. I was ready now to question God. I cried tears imagining what would happen to me if I failed. I went to 18h00 prayer and came back to student residence still bitter. However, that night, though very tired, I could not catch even a little sleep till I had to take an unusual step, which determined the events that were to follow. My Defining Moment It was at 00h00 I decided to wake up. I went to pray at the concrete roof   of the building. I didn’t want to wake my cousin up, as I was sharing my room with him. I was ready to complain to God again when I raised my hand and looked up to address God who was ‘supposedly’ in heaven. Immediately I cast my eyes on the full moon and the stars. In a split second my soul was illuminated by the divine truth of what I am seeing. I imagined that the moon is in space and nothing physical is holding it in its place. So are the stars, the sun and all other planets that are known and unknown. Instead of complaining I said, ‘God I thank you. Now I understand that what they call gravity is your power. You hold the moon and the stars in your hands. The sun never collides with the moon or with the earth I am standing on. This is your power. If you can hold the moon and the stars and the earth and the sun in their place, then you can hold my very life, oh God. I believe now that I will graduate, because I will pass this year.’ Lightning From the Sky While I was praying like that the bitterness resentment, worry and fear disappeared.  For the first time I prayed in other tongues and unexplainable groaning flooded out of my spirit. My heart was overflowing with unspeakable joy with tears flooding my chicks. I saw something shocking right there. Suddenly a lightning flashed from the sky. I said to God, ‘I don’t understand but I believe that you will make me understand.’ That night I went to sleep as if there was nothing wrong. Down in my spirit I knew it is well. I didn’t know how it was going to happen. I thought God will worry about that. The following day at 15h00 was my deadline and still I didn’t have my assignment ready, yet joy filled my soul. I then woke up in the same mood, attended classes and went for 13h00 pyrayer without my assignment. I didn't as God anything that day or neither did I try to rebuke the devil. I continued from where I left the previous night-telling God how big He was and that He held all things, including the earth I was standing on, by the word of His power(Hebrews 1:3).