Practicing Presence

The central premise of this book revolves around two basic questions.  First, what is “pastoral care?”  It would seem like a simple enough question to answer, however it is one that even confuses the academic community that writes about it.  Just for the fun of it, we will seek to answer this question in our next chapter.  Second, how do we offer pastoral care?  Naturally, we cannot answer this question without first understand what it is that we are offering.  For the most part, answering this second question—both generally and specifically—will occupy the majority of our time together.  It is my hope that we will engage in a pure academic exercise—you will not only be introduced to the theoretical concepts of this form of ministry, you will also gain experience through the shared experience of others.  In doing so, we will seek to answer both of our questions.

Yet, there is an even more central question that is often overlooked by many writers.  That question is stated in the section heading above—Why do we offer pastoral care?  Why indeed?  As many philosophers have stated, answering the question of “why” is the most central question we can answer.  Thus, before we can engage any further in our study, we must answer the question of why we offer pastoral care.  During my clinical training, my supervisor introduced three reasons for why we offer pastoral care.  First, we seek to develop community.  Do you remember Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar?  Of course you do, right?  If you are like me, you probably grew up hearing lessons in which these men were chastised for their treatment of Job, accusing him of sinning greatly against God and pleading with him to confess his sins so that his torture would end.  Yet, why did they really come?  The text only tells us that they came because they “heard of all this adversity that had come upon” Job.  Their love for their friend was so great that they decided to visit Job.  When they saw how great his suffering was, they chose to do the best thing—say nothing and share in his pain.  As ministers, it is our occupation to join with those who are suffering in pain, to gather around them as a community of faith and fellowship.  

Second, we seek to meet a need.  In what is probably the single best definition of what pastoral care is, Carroll Wise writes, “Pastoral care is the art of communicating the inner meaning of the gospel to persons at the point of their need.”  This is an incredibly deep thought.  First of all, Wise describes ministry as an “art,” meaning that we seek to integrate our personhood (our “being”) with our ministry (our “doing”).  Next, Wise reminds us that our job as ministers is not to hammer the finer points of doctrine, but to communicate the simple meaning of the Christian religion to people—that God loves them and that healing is possible through salvation.  Lastly, Wise emphasizes that it is their need that should concern us.  The situation too often goes like this: It’s Thursday afternoon and there is a knock at the office door.  An individual who looks quite poor has come asking for money for groceries, gas, an electric bill, etc.  The minister, wanting to be evangelistic and shrewd at the same time says, “I’m sorry, there’s no one here who can help you today.  However, if you come back on Sunday, we can help you then.”  Now, I will admit that Jesus cautions us to “be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves” in Matthew 10:16, yet the context of that passage is not about benevolence.  We should never forget that the first crisis the early Church faced was in regards to benevolence—to meeting needs (Acts 6:1-6)!  We are in the need-meeting business.

Third, we seek to represent God.  It is funny how ideas flow in and out of one another.  For how can we represent God if we do not seek to meet needs?  We are ambassadors for Christ!  If this is not a humbling thought, I do not know what is.  We carry God’s message according to the instructions that God has given us—to be honest, just, and dedicated in our service.  And in order to represent God effectively, we should do the following:

• We must discern the guidance of the Holy Spirit instead of focusing on our religious sensitivities. 

• We must empty ourselves of our values, attitudes, and assumptions so we can focus on the person before us who is in need. 

• We must embrace whatever feelings are laid before us.

• We must not use cliché tools.

• We must remain present with people when they are in crisis.