From the Cottage to the Clouds

May 30,2009

Mike has three time zones he moves through sometimes.

The Present, what’s going on. He weans himself away from his law practice --- despite efforts to lock the door on May 1, Mike hung onto several cases that he just HAD to finish. There are two (were two, now one) for which he said he had a moral obligation to see to completion. 

There are a few odds and ends, just a few, in the locking of the office building. We haven’t disconnected the phone and one administrative assistant is still on site. Our bookkeeper is also recalibrating withholding taxes and paying bills. It’s not that it NEVER ends but just not yet. Mike says June 16 is the last day, the absolute last day, and I can help with the final once-over. Then we hand the key to the Kokomo Rescue Mission. 

We fill our days with day-to-day. Along with crafting a few more of furniture pieces in his shop, Mike uncovered another project, this one in the garage, one that has been festering for years. A friend loaned him the shell of a Lotus because Mike offered to restore it.

I write about things I don’t understand. I helped move the shell, lift the shell, upend the shell, and hold parts of shell together so bolts join parts. Today it looks a bit more like an automobile, in a shell-kind-of-way. There’s a steering wheel attached to a column. No engine, no tires, no wiring as of yet. 

Yet.

In Mike’s present, we share sweet moments. At times, we are almost two halves of a whole, sensitive to thoughts and actions. We give voice to important things. We pray and laugh together. We share tears and then more laughing. Always, we need to come back to that.

Coming Time: the dying time.  Mike says that every 10 minutes, he slips into a zone that makes him “so sad.” What will it be like? Who will be there? Will there be pain? It’s natural and pointless to linger here so my job is to reassure him that I will be with him and, more importantly, God will be with him, and we are not there yet.

And then, The Great Future Time. Pastor Mark gave us a book by Randy Alcorn called Heaven. It contains intriguing topics like, “What is life like in Heaven right now?” “What are the saints doing in Heaven right now?”

We talk about heaven. Who does he want to see? Who will be there to greet him? We know that Jesus will open His arms to this child. Also we envision his dad, my dad, our son and --- we both came to this --- our favorite Wheaton professor, Dr. Joe McClatchey. As we talk, we can see their faces, each with his individual smiling personality, waving in the newest resident.

Mike looked across at me one day and said, “I’m going to miss you so much.”

Tears on both sides. And then God gave me this: “You know, you won’t. In God’s time, it’ll be a snap of the fingers and I’ll be with you again.”

My special privilege is to walk this path toward Heaven with my husband. I will come closer than many people. Will it leave me changed? Yes. As we face Mike’s death, we we distill life to its essence. Normal concerns get tossed into the trivial pile. Life is about the people we love. Hold them close.