“It’s Not Going to Be Easy.” God

On that long, rural highway that I was traveling on, I began to reflect on my life. I wondered what poor personal choices could have been thwarted had I centered myself on my God who created me and is my Personal Savior. What kind of person would I be today had I applied myself to the solidity truth based on the living words of the Holy Bible? What path of my life would have been different had I become a committed, attentive student through Biblical teachings? Which of my prayers and questions would have been answered accurately had I stopped running from personal issues? What infinite wisdom from the Lord had I missed because of the ‘motor’ that drove me away from facing past mistakes? How many days of my life would I have enjoyed more had I allowed the Lord to bestow upon me peace; patience; quietness and gentleness? God began to renew my mind in a profound way; my ‘blinded’ eyes were open and my ‘silenced’ ears were alert. One day I read a portion of a popular Christian devotional book. The Lord affirmed the alignment of what He wanted for me:

“I am leading you along a way that is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self- the one I designed you to be.”

I had made choices in my life that were apart from God; as if I was arrogant enough to believe I could do a better job than God, my Creator. I visualized myself free-falling into the arms of Jesus who enables all of creation with hope and strength. My life had been diving into several dark paths by making choices absent from God. Instead, I desired my life to be thriving in the rich blessings of a close walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. I became a believer at the age of thirteen. I began to recognize the futility of my life, for all those years, apart from the Lord to the current crisis I was in at the moment. I had let the bondage of fear; mistrust; anger; depression and a poor self-image absorb my thoughts and penetrate my heart. I had carried out my heart issues in outrageous behaviors unrecognized by other believers. I had contorted my life apart from God because of the ‘death-grip’ I had on those miserable and unhealthy issues. It was the only way I had known to survive, yet if this was survival I was ready to let go. It was time to allow God to begin to pry my ‘fingers’ off those unhealthy issues that had created a chain of bondage for so many years.

I acknowledged the bondage in my life and I outwardly voiced to my Savior:

“Lord, I have had enough of my life. I am done. You said that there is a life laid out before me that is so rich with blessings it is incomprehensible to the human mind. I want that life. I want that life free from all the weight and bondage in my life. All of it. I want You to heal everything in my life. All of it” And I firmly believed He could and would.

I ‘heard’ the Lord. I know I did. Deep within my ears, I heard God audibly and distinctly in my heart. There was no doubt that the Lord answered me. “Are you sure? Are you ready?”

I answered aloud,

“Yes, I don’t care what it takes.”

Again, I heard the Lord say:

“Ok. But it is not going to be easy”.

Again, audibly I said:

“I don’t care I am ready”.

And I meant it.