Scriptures and Scones

Forgive: To Give Before

When my oldest daughter, Samantha, was very young, she had a funny quirk. She didn’t like one of my best friend’s daughters, Marie, so would clobber her over the head with toys. I scolded her on this repeatedly, until finally I had to lay down a “no touching her, period” rule.

One day, as I rounded a corner in the house, I saw something that made me guffaw inwardly. There was Samantha: belly-bumping young Marie. She knew that she wasn’t allowed to touch her with her hands, so she whacked her with her own tummy instead. It was so cute, but still had to be punished as an act of aggression.

“Did you do the wrong thing?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Then say you’re sorry,” I encouraged.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I forgive you,” Marie replied, and they hugged. Forgiven, she bounded off to play again.

As we grow, we keep this pattern of behavior (confession and then forgiveness), and when someone does wrong to us, we wait for them to say they are sorry before we forgive them. It is a natural (earthly, having to do with the flesh, as opposed to spiritual) way to forgive, and is not wrong. We teach our children to say they are sorry before receiving forgiveness, and that is a very good thing.

However, Biblical forgiveness (done in the spirit) is an overwhelmingly liberating concept, and it may be the opposite of what you think.

Biblical forgiveness is, literally, give-before-ness. It means to give forgiveness before an apology is ever issued, and even when one isn’t.

Our example is the Lord Jesus Himself. God Himself died for our sins almost two thousand years before we ever committed a single sin. We weren’t even born yet when He willingly died to pay for all of them.

The Lord had his own human desire to avoid the death on the cross. He had to die to this desire and suffer the cross to pre-forgive us. Not only was He willing to die to Himself that we might live, He went so far as to cast our sin as far as the east is from the west.

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. -Psalms 107:3

And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. - Hebrews 10:17

In other words: our wrong-doings no longer exist, and the Lord chooses to refuse to remember them.

Jesus goes beyond forgiving our sins; He chooses to call us friend.

When we use the power of Biblical forgiveness, we can release the stressful burden of anger to Jesus, and thank Him for forgiving that person through us.

In an abusive situation, restoration of a relationship is unwise, but your soul can still rest in Biblical forgiveness.

With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. - Matthew 19:26

We are sinful humans, and it is very difficult for us to forgive someone in the natural. That is one of the reasons God came to dwell in us: because with man forgiveness is impossible, but not with God.

So, how do we forgive?
We bow our hearts in prayer and simply say:

“Father, please forgive this person through me. I release You into the situation, and set it at the foot of Your throne. Thank you, Lord.”

Then, just as Jesus cast our sins as far as the east is from the west…just as He said He would remember your sins no more…

We have to let it go.

We have to refuse to take it back.

We’re going to be tempted…we will want you to hold on to that grudge until we get an apology. Just remember that Jesus refused to hold on to a grudge against us. He chose to forgive, and truly forget. Not only that, but He hid our sin for us.

Thank God for that…

Our job is to give forgiveness before it is ever asked for. You may be surprised to find out that the person who offended you didn’t even know they had, and all this time it’s only been hurting you.

Let it go. Let God forgive them through you. Remember He died to forgive their sins, too, and you may just be the one to bring them into the knowledge of salvation.

Forgiveness = give-before-ness.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for forgiving all of my sins before I had even committed them. Thank you for paying for all of my sins, even the ones I haven’t apologized for.

Thank you for forgiving the people who have wronged me today. Thank you for helping me to realize that you came to die for them, too.

What's the end of the story with Samantha and Marie? Well, they’re so close, they call themselves sisters now.

Between you and the Lord…

It’s been said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping it hurts the other person. Have you felt this? Are you feeling it now?

Who do you most need to forgive?

What steps can you take to show forgiveness to this person?

Your prayer for today: