Experiencing God While Caregiving

When I was faced with the prospect of caregiving, I was not worried because I had worked in a nursing home and hospital and had plenty of caregiving experience. What I didn’t know was that it can be exhausting when it is a 24/7 commitment. It can be lonely and it can be emotionally draining at some points in its journey. There were nurses and doctors I knew I could call when there was a problem. The list of specialists became more confusing than helpful and it is true, at one point I called his dentist begging for answers. He was the last doctor we had been to and I thought he could help me. Having doctors and specialists was great, but it wasn’t like having someone over me as when I worked at the hospital where someone else would have had the ultimate responsibility in my husband’s care. The “buck stopped” with me. There was a time when my husband had a diet plan for his diabetes, a different one for his heart problems, and yet another one recommended for his kidney disease. At a doctor’s clinic one month I showed the nurse that was preparing us the three plans with everything crossed out on each plan that was on the not recommended food list of the others. I said, “It looks like carrots is the only food he can eat.”

Juggling appointments, medications and medication changes, tests, supplies and therapy exchanges while trying hard to stay sane was quite an effort. I don’t regret a minute of it as I look back on it, but there were plenty of times in the middle of things that I was tempted to throw in the towel and walk away.

This book is not a comprehensive guide on caregiving. There are many manuals and books on caregiving. My husband happened to have kidney disease which is a lot different than caring for someone with end stage COPD or Parkinson or whatever you may find yourself in the middle of as you care for your loved one. This is a book I hope, that will help you cope with those times when you are discouraged and feel like throwing in the towel and know you can’t. My hope is that this book will help you find strength when you need it, that it will help some of the transitions you will face go smoother, and that you will see some insights into your own experience from reading the good and not so good ways I blundered through my experience.

I have since become a home healthcare worker and I have found that some of the insights I had were helpful to the families of my clients as they were doing their best for their loved one. Sometimes we learn best by our mistakes and sometimes it might be just as helpful to learn from another person’s mistakes. You will be second guessing all through the process of caregiving and beyond about what is the best thing to do or how is the best way to say this or handle that. It’s normal. Each caregiving situation is different with its own trials. What worked for me may not work for you, but my hope is that it will spark a creative way for you to handle your particular situation.

When I go to the mall and particularly one I have never been to before, one of the first things I do is look for the map of the layout of the store. Once I find the map, I locate the red dot that says, “You are here” from there I can navigate through the maze of stores to find what I am shopping for. I am hoping that you will be able to locate the “red dot” of your caregiving endeavor and identify your particular feelings and/or fears. As you read my experience and see the mistakes and lessons I have learned through my caregiving journey, hopefully you will be able to navigate through your journey as a caregiver.