Her Greatest Betrayal

As fate would have it, my dad became ill. Within three months after my marriage, my dad passed away. I was devastated. My tears could not console me. My heart felt as if it would jump out of my chest. I cried, “He’s gone! He’s gone! My best friend is gone!” He loved me unconditionally. He accepted my flaws and defended me whenever I needed protection. All I had to hold onto was his wisdom. All I had done, I had lived for him and his approval. Now I was left to live for myself.

Within ninety days of marriage, I had lost my dad, got pregnant, and became separated from my husband. I could see my dad’s face and hear the words, “This is not your husband.” This same man I had gone against truth to marry was now the man that sent my life on a downward spiral. “God, what have done?” I cried. “Help me, Jesus! I am alone; yet I am not alone. I am shameful. I knew your word. Father, please forgive me and restore me. I need you, Father. I called out my dad’s name, but he was no longer there. He had given me all he had to give. Now the rest was up to me. Since I could not hear from my earthly father anymore, I called on my Heavenly Father. I said “Father, I know you always hear me when I pray. You’ve always been there for me. I’ve always loved you, and you have always loved me. “God, this walk is lonely. I’ve never seen days like this before.”

I was called fat and told no other man would want me. I was told my son would never have a father. I was told that my father thought I was so valuable, but I took his most prized possession. “I wanted to show your dad that you were not all that,” my husband said. He told me, “You ain’t nothing just like your father wasn’t anything.” At that moment I wanted to physically cause harm. I felt he deserved to die, so I thought and I prayed that God would kill him and take him away from me. I knew had my dad been there, things would have been different. I had never experienced such humiliation in my life. I could see my father’s face so clearly. Then I understood. Why didn’t I understand then? How could I have been so deceived? This clearly wasn’t the conversation my father and I would have. My father told me I was beautiful. My father told me any man would be blessed to have me in his life. My father told me not to stay where I was being mistreated.