Esterlynn

Chapter One

Her body shivered again, this time strong enough to break through her unconscious state. At first Ellen had allowed herself to imagine it was all part of a dream, but this latest shudder roused her enough to notice the cold dampness that had crept into the ground beneath her. She’d fallen asleep on her side with her knees pulled up to her chest, arms stacked under her head as a pillow.

She opened her eyes slightly and forced back a cry as she saw long arms stretched wide in silhouette against the dark sky. She felt so small and defenseless with her back pressed against a cold, hard surface. As memory swallowed confusion, relief rushed in right behind it. She was still in the cemetery; the shadowy image actually the depiction of a crucifix, her back cramped from the gravestone that had doubled as a bed.

There were shadows everywhere, each with its own hidden haunt. This cemetery, the after-dark version, bore little resemblance to the one she and her sister Brynn used to explore in the daytime when they were younger.

They’d spent endless hours walking through its fascinating history; calculating the life span of each marker and providing vivid commentary. Ellen recalled the first time they’d seen the marker whose birth year equaled its end. “This poor thing died before her first birthday; oh the heartache!” Ellen would make such pronouncements with an air of solemnity beyond her years.

Yes, being brave in the cemetery had proven easy with her big sister in broad daylight. But Brynn wasn’t here now. She was probably busy with homework, totally unaware that her little sister had made a hair-brained decision to come home from her friend Emily’s house without telling either of their parents.

The friends had planned a sleepover but Ellen had been overwhelmed with a feeling of homesickness. She’d slipped out for home, taking a shortcut through the cemetery rather than staying on the familiar roads. The sun had already been setting its sights on dismissing the day and yet Ellen had convinced herself it was a good idea. After all…she knew her way around, right?

The last thing she remembered tonight was passing that same marker with the familiar yet mystifying etched across its smooth surface:
“Our Few Days with You
Will Sustain Us for Now;
‘Til We Meet in Heaven,
As God Allows.”

A mixture of jealousy and confusion had risen within Ellen the first time the sisters had read it. The parents of this infant had actually wanted their child only to have her suddenly taken away. How could they hold onto hope of heaven with the God who had caused such grief?

Ellen knew she was blessed to have been adopted by Brynn’s parents, but some days her heart and her head didn’t agree. Abandonment by her birth parents was a hard fact to overlook. Bitterness crept in like a masked bandit on those days. And when it did, Ellen found the message on that tombstone confusing at best, a scam at worst.

She sat up now, looking every which way. She must have really wandered because in all her exploring with her sister, she’d never seen the eerie, hulking cross with the body of Jesus fixed in stone, eyes forever gazing down in perfect agony for all who passed below. She shivered and wrapped herself in a hug, pushing her hands into opposite sleeves in an effort to keep them warm.

Even as she told herself she wouldn’t cry, she could feel the tears building up and threatening to spill over. She used that well of wetness as excuse for what she saw now. Something was hovering about 30 feet out, between a budding tree and a grave with plastic flowers on either side. There was no way of knowing the color of the flowers, as dark and cloudy as it was, and yet the ones near the tree grew bright enough to reveal shades of yellow and blue…because of the light. Ellen had to assume it was the repressed waterworks playing games with her vision. She blinked quickly, allowing the restrained tears to escape down her cheeks. Her vision cleared and what she saw should have frightened her, and yet it didn’t.

The light moved slowly closer to Ellen. It emitted no heat and yet its brightness actually made her feel warm. She pulled herself to her feet with thoughts of running or at least screaming. And yet she stood still. The impulse to cry was forgotten even as the tears remained wet on her face. The need to breathe was dismissed for the moment.

All at once a voice spoke from the light. “Don’t be afraid.”

The reality of the situation came to a climax. She was cold and lost, her sister unreachable, surrounded by death after dark – alone. All these things welled up inside as she took two steps back and cried out, “What do you want?”

“I am here to bring you out of the darkness,” the voice replied. “I am here to bring you home.”

The tears returned quickly and her lip trembled as Ellen whispered sharply, “I do want to go home! But the darkness is frightening me and I can’t find my way!”

“Learn to walk in the light,” the voice said. “Darkness covers but light always reveals truth.”

Ellen felt confused and hopeful all at once. She thought of Brynn – and home, but with a sense of peace now as she somehow knew she was safe. She regained her two steps and as she did, the light started to lead the way. It advanced little by little, but never more than a few steps at a time, always near enough to light her path.
No longer afraid, Ellen asked bravely, “What’s your name?”

At first she thought she would get no response, so long was the wait for an answer. But the light slowed and hovered for a moment as a voice said, “I have no name, but if it gives you comfort to attach my existence in such a way, you may choose one for me.”

The light began to move again, guiding her way, and as she followed she frowned for a moment, thinking about that grave that spoke of heaven. She closed her eyes tightly; picturing the name elegantly scrawled into the stone’s surface and smiled in remembrance. It was somehow perfectly fitting to attach it to her guide, a new friend that would always speak of truth and light.

Her face brightened as she claimed it aloud. “Then I will call you Esterlynn!”