I Drew Him from the Water

ET NEWS: BREAKING NEWS: “Death Rumors, Not True!”<>

“Hello, everyone, this is Marissa with ET NEWS. Some of you may not have heard Pharaoh’s and Moses’ last conversation. Moses told us that his God is going to strike all of Egypt’s firstborn sons with a plague of death!

The audacity of that man and his God; not only shall our first born sons die, but also our firstborn male animals right down to our family pets as well. What kind of god attacks men and their pets, and for no reason, except to make Pharaoh let the Israelites leave Egypt?

“Today we are at the palace with Vizier Jibade who has a message from Pharaoh. It is such a privilege to be here with you as you are usually busy out in another part of our great land.”

“That is right, Marissa; the job of Vizier has me gone more than I am home. Pharaoh has asked me to speak to the people for a moment on this significant development with Moses and his God.

“People of Egypt, it is of great importance that you hear what I have to say. As you know, the kingdom of Egypt practices the Law of Primogeniture. Because of this law, each of you should know that the loss of the firstborn male in your family would be especially disastrous. If that were to happen, no surviving member would be legally eligible to receive the family inheritance.

There would be no surviving member left to take care of the family. As no survivor member would be able to be made executor, no one would have a legal right to any family inheritance or family headship. Therefore that legal right would be handed over to Pharaoh who would then decide the fate of each family’s estate.

Another reason this shall not happen is because Pharaoh knows of no god that would want to take from our men their pride and joy. Our firstborn male is the first proof of our manhood; he is our strength, he is our family honor.

I am sure that you are all familiar with the fact that in each Egyptian family, the firstborn son is the son destined to be the controller of the power of the family name. Every firstborn son makes the gods look honorable. Which of our gods would ever allow every first born son to be taken away from us?

Losing the first born animals would likewise be very devastating. Our first born male animals have a vital role in our society, we offer them as first fruits to our gods. What possible reason would our gods have for allowing the destruction of the very symbols of our devotion to them! Again, what god would be so cruel as to ever allow that to happen to his Egyptian families? Foolishness, utter foolishness.

Egypt—the world for that matter—would be at a standstill; the world as we know it would no longer exist. Total devastation, chaos, riots, an uncontrollable mad house—that is what the world would be. There are no gods known to Pharaoh, who would allow such a thing to happen.

People, I am second in command. As your second in command, as your Vizier, let me assure you—this death threat to our first born males will not occur! You have my word on this. Our gods and goddesses shall not let us down. They’ll protect us from anything that Moses and his God might try to do. Even our Pharaoh said: ‘Sit back and relax, do not concern yourself with this foolish threat.’”

“You have now heard it from Vizier Jibade, himself—so what do you think? Are you concerned that come midnight your firstborn son or your firstborn male animals shall die? As our great and mighty Pharaoh has no concern at all about this, why should any of you?

I say this because it has been brought to our attention that there are some of us Egyptians who are going to stay with the Israelites on this night. Their brains have been badly confused by all the dramatic events that have taken place recently. They are weak minded people, and we are better off without them. It is time for all good and righteous citizens of Egypt to stand up with Pharaoh and get rid of this plague called ‘Moses and his God.’

This war started out between Pharaoh and Moses along with Moses’ God. Somewhere along the line as with so many wars, the innocent became involved. This war is now between the Egyptians and the Israelites