Simply Sovereign

IMPATIENT EXPECTATION Along the way so many things were approached that didn’t turn out well–I wanted too much too soon, and my impatience led to hazard and defeat. It took ten times longer to do simple things and achieve simple goals. Deep inside I knew that I was in the righteousness of God, but I didn’t know how to receive his promises.

My sister, Janet, invited me to come to Bridge Builders Church International where Darius and Alesia Crayton are the Prophets and Pastors. I was so moved by the message and amazed at the character of Pastor Darius. I decided I’m coming just to hear the message. I didn’t understand the benefits of speaking in tongues, at the time.

Once Christ became alive in me, I realized that I wanted everything that he’s offering: the entire benefit package with bonuses and promotions. This is certainly, “Not church as usual," according to Pastor Alesia. The worship experience was exactly what I hungered for and needed, but I wasn’t sure that I understood it all. Everything was done in such order and excellence. The power of God and the manifestation of scripture was held to a standard that I never expected.

I decided to lose more and more shackles. I decided to increase my trust in God. I decided not to be bound by any defeat, and to remove anything that’s not like Christ. I asserted that I will not be ashamed, I’ll not fret, I’ll never be bewildered because Christ abides in me, and I in him. All my life, when it seemed as if Christ had left me, He always came forth and expressed his love. My expectations are higher now that he has shown his faithfulness—so strong and sure. His goodness is present every day, but his thoughts are so far above my thoughts that he always aborts my plan for his more sovereign plan, a plan that I did not have the faith to imagine, a plan that I laugh about—just like Mya, I think about myself, and I laugh.

I took some time away from the Praise team to heal and soon returned. The more I tried to stay on course, more and more illnesses seemed to attack me, and I fought hard to resist. Every Tuesday and every Wednesday, I prayed my way to the church. Allergies, sinus drainage, blood pressure elevation, and suddenly ferocious migraine attacks came, but I kept fighting it off. I used almost every home remedy that I was told. I raced from physician to physician and found myself getting more ill and taking more and more expensive medication. I came to myself and thought, “hmmm, how ridiculous.”

As my health appeared to decline, I took more time to rest and stay home meeting the needs of my child and my household. The spirit of Christ rose up more and more inside me. I was more relaxed and engaged in praise and worship much more, in my home. I realized that this was His time. He wanted more of my time.

When I returned to work, I became more ill. I coughed and sneezed and ran from hospitals to family doctors, neurologist, ophthalmologist and to chiropractors. I purchased a clean air machine for my desk, a heater, heating pads, renewed my eye glasses, blood pressure cup, and drank green tea, fasted, and prayed. Everybody had a remedy for the migraine and the drainage, but nothing worked. I knew that I had to do something different.

I declared at work that, “I don’t have migraines, and I’m not taking the medication anymore." All the Immitrex and Topamax that I had, I flushed away. I would not take the medication anymore. I was in great pain and so disoriented, so lethargic, but steadfast in my conviction. It cost $200.00 for fifteen pills that did not last me fifteen days. I soon realized this is not going to work for me.

I told Deborah one night that I had made so many mistakes that I could not afford to mess up with God. “Whatever it takes, I’ve got to get this right.” Hindsight tells me that these words of faith manifested my breakthrough. My praise increased as well my worshipping.

Two weeks later, as I prayed in the spirit, I saw my first vision of the praise team leader, laying her hands and healing members of the congregation. She confirmed her desire to heal with not only her hands but with the angelic singing from her vocal chords. I saw another vision of Janet bringing a stranger to my home.

On Sunday, December 2004, Pastor Crayton said to the congregation, “You’re not getting well, but when have you affirmed any healing scriptures”? So, I decided to learn healing scriptures and increase my faith for healing.

I continually confess and believe, I’ll never be sick another day in my life, I’ll never be broke another day in my life, and I am the righteousness of God. My needs are met, I’m out of debt, and I have plenty more to sow into my family and into the kingdom of God. Sharon Waddle 1/13/2005