Growing With God

How many books have we read or movies have we watched where couples get divorced because of ‘irreconcilable’ differences? Their relationship started out all lovey dovey—butterflies in their stomachs, the excitement, etc. Don’t get me wrong; to a degree those things are fine, but we shouldn't make that the basis of a marriage.

How many people want a marriage where their spouse keeps track of the wrongs they supposedly commit and brings them up constantly? To have that hanging over someone’s head is exhausting; afraid anything you do will be held against you. That’s not love, that’s control. I watch a lot of movies and TV shows, and I see it happen all the time whenever there is a ‘love triangle’. One person—usually the woman—will do all in her power to try to hang onto the guy, try to control him, and keep things from him she thinks she can use to help her keep him.

That love is conditional. It only serves that person. It’s all about them and what they want. We need to start seeing a difference in how we love. Loving someone is not about what I can get out of the relationship. If that’s how it is, then when Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, He wouldn't have said, “Let Your will be done.” He would've said, “Sorry, Father, it’s too hard. If I do this for My people, they will take it for granted, and hate Me, so what’s the point?’ He already knew all of that would happen, but He went ahead and died for us anyway.

Real love is so much more. If there weren't people who really loved in this world, where would we be? All of the relief organizations that go into countries when they have devastating natural disasters wouldn't exist. It is hard in any relationship to be selfless all of the time. I’m not asking that of you. We’re human. It happens to all of us. But let’s start differentiating between conditional love and unconditional love.

Love is a very wonderful thing. To a degree, though, Hollywood has really idealized it, making it all about feelings and romance. There has to be chemistry between the two people. You have to see fireworks, get goosebumps, butterflies in your stomach, and feel light-headed. But overall it’s supposed to be all about feelings. Not to say you’re not going to feel any of those things when you date someone, but don’t let them rule you. Don’t let them be the deciding factor in whether to pursue the relationship. They’re an added bonus to involve your feelings, but they shouldn't be the only thing you base the relationship on.

Nothing can fill that empty hole in our heart. You know why? Because God created it to fit only Him…which means only He can fill it, nothing else can. We try to jam a square peg in a round hole, and we get tired and frustrated from it.