Free Shipping on all Book Orders USPS regular shipping for 48 states only
Making Love That Lasts
Twenty-One Days to Form the Habit of Lasting Love
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.”
- John Gray
Day 3
Respect and Marriage
Respect is defined as deep admiration as a result of abilities, qualities, or achievements, and is also defined as showing consideration. In a marriage, partners must respect each other in private and in public.
Respect is a powerful force in a marriage. The respect for a mate is often evidenced by the way the couple communicates with each other, in private and in public. It is difficult for a marriage to last when a husband or wife does not respect their mate. I have been around couples that create so much tension when they talk to each other and about each other, that I usually have to say, “Think about what you are saying.”
Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.” It is important to show respect through our words and actions. My husband and I were having dinner with a young couple when their baby needed changing. The wife pounced on the husband and said, “I have been changing her, now it is your time. You change her.” She said it as if he were a misbehaving child. I felt sorry for him. I felt that she was disrespectful to him. He got up with his head high and took the child out of the room. I am certain that the couple loved each other, but there was a hurt look on his face when he left the room. Her words hurt him, because she said them in front of a group of people, and with a disrespectful tone.
I remember when we were first married, my husband did not think about me in little things. I felt that he was inconsiderate. This may seem petty, but at the time, it was important to me. One evening he came home and had stopped by the store and bought him a candy bar. As he took it out of the sack and begin to open it, I asked him where was mine. He said, “Did you want one?” I told him that it was disrespectful to never consider my feelings or to even offer to share what he had. He told me he did not mean to be selfish or disrespectful. After that, he has never forgotten about me. He will even call me and ask me, if I would like something special. He respects me as his partner. He shows respect by including me in his thoughts for his own desires.
It is important to let your spouse know what you feel. You must remember that you are two people who have come from two different worlds. For the worlds to come together without collision there must be careful maneuvering. When you feel disrespected, tell your spouse in a respectful way. Do not keep it in. But, never be disrespectful.
If you are thinking to yourself, I cannot find one thing about my spouse to respect. Then, you must begin to use the word of God to build up your spouse with your words. Romans 4:17 tells us that God calls those things that be not as though they were. It is the responsibility of every husband and wife to speak Christ like characteristics about their spouses. Each mate should speak the fruit of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Begin to say that your spouse has the joy of the Lord. Say that he or she has self-control and patience. Speak those things that be not, as though they were.
It is very important to remember that men and women are different. Their views about many things in life are different. Their language of love may be different. In good and lasting marriages, both partners work at understanding their spouse’s differences. They also work to respect and honor those differences. I have always been a night person. In college staying up to study was easy for me. But, getting up for an early class was difficult. When I got married there was an adjustment period for both of us. My husband wanted to go to bed early and I wanted to stay up. We had to work through it.
Do not under estimate the importance of something as small as respecting a person’s favorite time of day. Small things can make a big difference over time.
Respect is essential to a lasting relationship. Be respectful of large and small things. Remember you are married and you have come together as one. But, you are still different people in many ways. Respect the differences.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Derryl Venters, a retired educator, drew on her forty-three years of marriage and experience as a teacher to write a book on building strong marriages. Her conversations with other couples who have been married forty to sixty years gave her unique insight into the building blocks of successful marriages. Making Love That Lasts is developed around the belief that twenty-one days of focus on the marriage can form the habit of making lasting and positive changes in couples’ relationships. During the twenty-one days, topics such as forgiveness, money, change, love, prayer, and respect are covered from the perspective of successful marriages. Included in the book are stories about couples and the challenges of their lives that warm the heart and lead to understanding the topics. Making Love That Lasts is an easy read that encourages the soul and lays the foundation for lasting love.
About the Author
Derryl Venters is a pastor and retired educator. Her lifelong passions have been Christ and science. She taught physical science, chemistry, and physics and later became an administrator. She has worked with her husband in the ministry for over thirty years. She is a member of the Oklahoma Writers Federation.