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Virtue is Benevolent ~
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26
Have you ever opened your mouth and said something that you wish you hadn’t? Have you ever engaged in a conversation only to have your thoughts and words come out all wrong? Have you ever “put your foot in your mouth” or said something that you wish you could take back, but it was too late? I have! Wouldn’t it be nice to have a governing principle from within your very own heart that would prompt you to think benevolent thoughts before you speak? Believers have this ability available to them through the leading of the Holy Spirit in them. When we saturate our hearts with the truth of God’s Word and take time to draw near to Him in fervent prayer, the Spirit transforms our hearts and minds into Christ’s image. We need continual transformation and continual renewing of our minds in submission to His Word because, as good as our resolve to do right may be, we are weak and apt to resort to walking in the flesh and after the dictates of our fallen hearts. We need to spend intimate time with the Lord in prayer and study as we seek to honor Him with our lives. This is how He works at molding our hearts to think less like us and more like Him. This is how Christ sanctifies and cleanses His church, “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word” (Eph. 5:26).
When we walk yielded to His Spirit, we have a sensitivity to want to please and honor Him, as well as to love others. Every believer has the indwelling Holy Spirit. “For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body” (1 Cor. 12:13). “Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him” (Rom. 8:9). Being filled with the Holy Spirit simply means that we are yielded to and controlled by the Spirit instead of being controlled and yielded to the desires of our flesh. In Ephesians 5:18, we are commanded not to be intoxicated with alcohol but instead, to be in obedience to the transforming influence of the Spirit in us. When we are Spirit filled, we have a selfless consciousness of the presence of Christ ever before us and a desire to die to self and live righteously before Him. Walking in the Spirit is when you “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” (Col. 3:16).
In this Proverb, we get a peek of this woman of virtue’s inner self and see that she has the governing principle of godly wisdom in her heart. This proverb teaches that her avenues of speech (her mouth and tongue) are regulated by wisdom and kindness. Our speech reveals our true character, “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). A woman that strives to live a righteous life takes the necessary time to draw near and commit herself to being set apart and consecrated to the Lord. Our true heart character reveals itself in our conversation—both our words and our conduct. People may be able to put on a facade for a short time, but their true heart will inevitably be revealed through their attitudes, speech, and actions. The woman of virtue speaks words of wisdom and kindness because that is what is in her heart. She governed her mouth and brought it under the strict control of godly wisdom and kindness.
“I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress” (Ps. 17:3).
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer” (Ps. 19:14).
As God’s people, we should care to take the time to evaluate each situation that we find ourselves in before we allow our mouths to open and our tongues to speak. It is wise to sift the thoughts, intents, and motives of our heart through the truths of God’s Word so that when we open our mouths, we will speak with wisdom and kindness, just as this woman exemplifies. When we are continually aware of God’s presence and have a heart that desires to please Him, it causes us to want to set a governing principle on our mouths that adheres to God’s goodness and truth. When we are focused on the Lord and walking in love, it enables us to see clearly beyond our selves or even the conversation at hand, and gives us clarity to think and counsel ourselves in righteousness before we speak.
“The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. The law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip” (Ps. 37:30-31).
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Prov. 25:11).
“The wise heart will know the proper time and the just way” (Eccl. 8:5).
People that seek to live righteously furnish their hearts with godly wisdom through the continual study of the Word, and it literally transforms their hearts to not be conformed to the errors of this world or the things of this life, with all its array of pride and humanism. What makes a Christian wise? They humbly trust in the Lord with all their heart and do not lean on their own understanding. In all their ways they acknowledge Him and He directs their paths. This includes their thoughts, from which motives, words, and actions are derived. They have a healthy mistrust of self, not daring to be wise in their own eyes. They fear the Lord and strive to make biblical choices, desiring to depart from evil (cf. Prov. 3:5-7).
A wise woman is selectively judicious with the thoughts that she chooses to allow entrance or contemplation in her heart, knowing that her walk with God and her relationships with others will be helped or hindered by these choices. Again, we need to realize that what our heart is before God will manifest itself through our words and actions. If you allow yourself to harbor evil thoughts, or even if you simply neglect to renew your mind through the Word and prayer, your heart will reflect those choices through your words.