A few years ago, I heard a pastor preach about seeking a deeper relationship with God, and in so doing, we needed to ask God to reveal all of our sins to us. This would draw us into a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. At that time, I was used to saying a “blanket prayer” that I hoped would cover everything I had done: “Father, please forgive me of all my sins.” If I knew of a particular sin that I had committed, I would ask Him for forgiveness specifically for it instead of the blanket prayer. Even though God already knew what I had done, I believe He wanted me to take ownership of my sins and admit them to Him and to myself. As He began to reveal my sins to me, I started jotting them down in a journal that I alphabetized from A-Z in order to see my sins from His perspective. I sat in shock and grief over what I had written down – things that I didn’t even realize were sins. At times, I have tried to hide some sins and bury them so deep that I thought I could forget them. However, nothing we’ve buried escapes God’s knowledge of them, no matter how hard we try to wipe them from our memory. God will be pleased with us when we bring our sins out into the open – sins that have kept us in bondage. He will free us from the burden of carrying them around, and we will experience a newness and cleansing that overwhelms us: “What happiness for those who guilt has been forgiven, what relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record.” (Psalms 130:3-4). The first thing is accepting that we are all sinners: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). This is the reason Jesus died for us, to take Our sins upon the cross with Him and to wash them away with His blood.
If you long for a closer relationship with God, my prayer is that you read through my personal journal and allow Him to reveal your sins, and then you repent and ask His forgiveness. In a sermon I once heard from a preacher, he said: “Whatever God reveals (uncovers), He will cover with the blood of Jesus.” Scripture tells us: “There is no God like You. You forgive those who are guilty of sin….You will not stay angry forever, because You enjoy being kind. You will have mercy on us again….” (Micah 7:18-19 – NCV -) However, scripture tells us that God remembers those sins that we have not confessed and asked forgiveness for. “but they do not realize that I remember all their evil deeds. Their sins engulf them; they are always before me.” (Hosea 7:2 - NIV -) “They offer sacrifices to me and eat the meat of the sacrifices. But I, the Lord, am not pleased with them, and now I will remember their sin and punish them for it…” (Hosea 8:13 - GNT -) “They have sunk deep into corruption, as in the days of Gibeah. God will remember their wickedness and punish them for their sins.” (Hosea 9:9 - NIV -)
In this book, there are some letters that a particular sin has been recorded again, but in a different way, as it spoke to me differently at the time – just as a certain topic is addressed in many places throughout the Bible, in order for us to finally ‘get it,’ or because it is important and God wants us to take notice. May God richly bless you as you seek a deeper relationship with Him. Ask Him to forgive you of each one, and then not only repent of your sins but also turn away from them – quit doing them. Of course, being born into sin, we will not be sin-free until we are made whole when Jesus takes us to Heaven. The important thing in desiring to draw closer to God is admitting our sins to Him and asking Him to help us turn away from them. Although I have listed many of my sins in this journal, I continue to find more and more things that God is not pleased about with me that I need to bring before Him and confess and repent. I’ll continue to be His work in progress until the day He takes me home with Him.
Please forgive me when I have:
• Angered You.
• Attempted to do things on my own without Your guidance or direction.
• Altered the truth to suit my own needs.
• Advanced my own desires without looking to You for guidance
• Accused someone wrongly and not apologized or asked for their forgiveness.
• Alienated myself from You.
• Abandoned You or Your Word – especially when things are going well for me, and I think that I can handle my life better than You; or when I have become upset with You, and I don’t want to have anything to do with You.
• Adopted the ways of this world – things the world values – instead of living more like Jesus.
• an Appearance of faith, not a truly genuine faith in You.
• Attended church just for appearances (to be seen by others).
• Appeared to be what I’m really not. (Galatians 6:3 – GNB - “If someone thinks he or she is somebody when really they are nobody, they are only deceiving themselves.”)
• “Asked” with the wrong motives. (James 4:2b-3 – GNB – “You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it. And when you ask, you do not receive it, because your motives are bad; you ask for things to use for your own pleasures.”)
• Asked You to guide my footsteps, but I haven’t been willing to move my feet.