Girl Talk

Chapter One

Forgiveness – Leaving the Past Behind You

We hurt for countless reasons.  We sometimes hold onto pain that can develop into bitterness, guilt, anger or shame.  We have been broken and deceived by those who professed their love to us.  We have emotional wounds from the past that linger – seeming to never heal or disappear. These wounds invade our thoughts often causing depression, interpersonal challenges, self-hatred, bitterness and dysfunctional behaviors.

Betrayal

We had fathers, step-fathers, brothers, uncles and family “friends” who thought nothing of stealing our innocence through sexual abuse. Why did they violate us like that?! We trusted them and they robbed us of our innocence. Now people talk behind our backs about our promiscuous behaviors and they call us awful names when in fact it was because of the violation(s) that we now have self-destructive behaviors. Some of us recklessly engage in sexual encounters with others while others completely avoid intimacy. When we finally mustered up the courage to tell someone we thought we could trust what we experienced; we had mothers, aunts and other family members who failed to provide us with the protection, safety and comfort we sought. Instead, they became angry with us when we cried to them for help. We wanted their love, advocacy and protection, but instead they told us we were liars and replied renunciations such as, “that did not happen!” And some of us were indoctrinated into almost believing that we were, in fact, mistaken and that the abuse could not possibly have occurred. We were forced to brush the hurt, I mean, dirt under the rug swearing to never speak of it again. Many involuntarily continued to live in the situation, often times worsening because now our offenders knew that we had exposed them of their iniquitous acts – and now there was a price to pay, a lesson to learn so that we would never tell anyone again. That “price” varied amongst the victims – oh the testimonies that can be shared here.