My Boys from Braxton County

My Boys from Braxton County
West Virginia

The year was 1955. We live close to the mountains on a two-acre land in the State of West Virginia. Boy…, growing up with my little runt brother Luke was fun. Luke and I sure liked playing pranks on our friends, especially our dad, but never, never, our mother. Luke and I got the biggest kick out of our dad, when he would cuss. He is not like other parents using bad language. No…, not our dad, our dad liked to make up his own little cuss words. Let me give you an example.

One morning, while mom was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Luke and I ran into our parent’s bedroom. Yelling to our dad like crazy little chickens. Telling him that his pick-up truck was stolen from the barn.
Dad got out of bed and ran outside barefooted, and in his white boxers. Yelling out loud, “Those dirty sons of a chicken feeder have better not stolen my pick-up truck.” When dad found out that we lied, boy…, Luke and I got a good licking for that prank. And, for more punishment, our dad made sure for one straight week, before sunrise. We had to scrub all the pigs before we went to school. The kids at school could smell the stink of the pigs on us. That first whole day I told my friends, “Oh, Luke and I had fun chasing pigs.” My friend Casey always use to tell me, “Telling a little white lie won’t hurt no one.” Another prank we pulled on our dad was on a Sunday. I remember getting up real early. Luke asked me, “Where was I going?” I told him, “Hush little brother, and stay in bed.” I quietly snuck outside to get the Sunday newspaper.

Once I got back in the bedroom, I talked Luke into helping me play a prank on dad. Luke and I cut out all the pictures from the newspaper. Then I rolled the newspaper back up nice and neat. I then snuck back outside and placed it in the front yard. I quickly returned to our bedroom trying not to make to much noise. Lying down on my bed, I talked with my brother for a bit. Soon we heard our dad walking down the hallway. We listened for in silence as we heard the front door open. A minute had passed when we heard our dad yell out loud,
“Honey, get them two fish face frogs up right now. So they can go to the store and buy me a newspaper.”

Hearing our dad yelling like a crazy wild man. Luke and I used our hands to cover our mouth, so that dad could not hear us laughing.

Then Luke said in a low tone, “There’s another prank for our book.” Then we could hear our mother’s footsteps coming toward our door. Luke and I pretended to be asleep. The door opened, we could hear our mom’s voice saying. “You two better get up and get dressed, you know why.” Luke rubbed his eyes as if he just woke up saying, “What’s going on mom?” Mom just stood at the doorway, “Come on you two, you heard your father, get up and get dressed.” Mom was never harsh with us when we played pranks on our dad. She knew that we would never hurt our dad with our pranks. On the way to the store to buy a newspaper. We laughed so hard our bellies hurt. Luke then said, “I cannot wait for the next prank we’re going to pull on him.” I looked at Luke with a smile and said, “Trust me little runt, there will be many, many more pranks to play.”

In our teenage years, Luke and I sure did a lot of camping and hiking in the woods. You can say Luke and I were crazy when it came to challenging the wild hogs in the mountains. I remember one summer, Luke and I went camping for a couple of days. We just finished setting our four-man tent, when we decided to go fishing in a nearby creek. Fishing and talking for a while, we heard strange noises from afar. We paid no mind to the strange noises, and just kept fishing. Then we heard the grunting noise coming closer, and closer to us. Luke and I spotted a big wild hog from a distance. It surprised us, this hog must have weighed about three hundred pounds or more. As we watched the hog in silence, I felt the wind blowing East. I knew that the hog could not smell our presence.

As we watched the hog look for food. Before I knew it, my little brother decided to throw some big pinecones at that hog. Thinking that the hog would leave the area. Instead, it turned around, took one look at us and started to charge at us with all its might. Luke and I knew the area, so we dropped our fishing poles and ran towards this big old oak tree. We climbed the tree like a pair of monkeys. Once we were safe on top, we laid flat on our bellies on these large branches. Holding on tight, Luke and I yelled out, “You old ugly hog can’t touch us, you ugly looking smelly thing.” That hog looked up at us, just wished
it could climb that tree. It kept grunting louder and louder, as if it was talking to us. We grab some dried branches and twigs, throwing them at that ugly hog. Just seeing that hog huffing and puffing, going around in circles and hitting the tree trunk with its strong back legs.