Jesus Didn't Fit In: Raising Nontraditional Children

Lincoln

Rick and Audra have been blessed with two beautiful children, Lincoln and Shiloh (Rick is a Civil War buff). When Audra was six months along in her pregnancy with Lincoln, she started going into labor. The doctors could not stop it and Lincoln was born. Just a few hours after his birth, their first born had a severe seizure. The doctors believe that lead to him having Cerebral Palsy and Developmental Delay.

This couple went through the horrendous anguish that all couples go through when they feel their hopes and dreams of the perfect family have been dashed. Audra shared a touching story of her sitting in the waiting area of Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis, Indiana. A father and his three or four year old little boy were walking down the corridor of the hospital holding hands. Audra sadly thought to herself as she watched their backs disappear down the hall, “Rick will never be like that. He will never be walking and holding hands with Lincoln.”

This painful realization was a necessary process of acceptance that this hurting mother was going through. But as Lincoln grew and came along in his way, other special moments took the place of father and son walking hand in hand. Once when the family was on vacation, every time they put Lincoln in his wheel chair he would reach over and touch the wheel, risking injury. Rick walked up beside Lincoln and held his son’s hand. The family would then proceed on their walk. As she watched from behind, the scenario from the hospital crossed Audra’s mind again. “Lincoln and Rick were strolling hand in hand. It didn’t matter that Lincoln wasn’t walking. We just kind of take it in stride and find other ways of replacing a situation that isn’t going to happen.”

This loving couple clung to Christ instead of despair. He guided them in acceptance of their circumstances and then revealed to them an understanding of life and human nature to which many of us are blinded. This family has a foresight that most miss. The world recognizes Lincoln as not fitting in because he cannot walk or talk. “But I don’t think he knows a lot of what he is missing,” says Audra, “he gets excited about things we take for granted.” Lincoln’s shrill laughter and sparkle in his eyes when he discovers a new sound echoing from his latest combination of toys and household objects, can lighten the heaviest heart.

When out in public, this family receives many curious looks and questions, especially from children. They recognize that kids run up and offer to help or ask questions because they are born with human compassion for one of their own. Sometimes parents have become hardened to this fact and are more concerned about being impolite and therefore may squelch their child’s natural curiosity and miss out on an opportunity to teach their own about children with disabilities.

When a child asks, “What’s wrong with him?” Audra answers, “Oh, he was sick when he was a baby and his brain just doesn’t work right.” They simply respond, “Oh, all right,” and run off. One time a little boy just needed to know more and finally his apologetic, yet intuitive mother asked the couple for more details about Lincoln. They were happy to oblige so the curious boy’s mother could explain. Rick and Audra probably contributed to the development of a future doctor.

This couple also recognizes that well meaning adults may need explanation from their life experience as Audra shares about trying to explain to a man in the doctor’s office about Lincoln. “Do you mean he’s mentally retarded?”

“Yeah,” she said, unoffended. Many at this point would take the opportunity to lay on a guilt trip while at the same time teaching this older gentleman a more politically correct term. But since Audra and Rick’s focus is on Christ, they don’t see the need.

These real families shared from their hearts their hurts and hurdles, their frustrations and fears, their beliefs and blessings. Navigating the tough terrain towards normalcy has instead driven them into God’s great feast as Jesus described in the parable found in Luke 14:15-24, “…invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind…for none of those I invited first will get even the smallest taste of what I have prepared for them.” NT families “taste” what God has prepared: an awareness of what is truly important.