Changing Church

One particular day is forever imprinted on my mind. It began one Sunday morning. Standing in the front row of the auditorium, in the middle of worship, I looked over my shoulder at a very small crowd of people. We had recently gone to two services. This second service was certainly not out of need but more out of desperation – a need to do something different. That morning I could feel the sickening feeling sweeping over me again. It was the feeling that I was a failure as a pastor. It was all the same. We saw the same people week after week, same attendance year after year, and saw few salvations and few baptisms.

Worship was coming to an end and I was getting ready to step onto the stage to preach. I was so tired and all I could think of was how badly I wanted to step up there and resign. I was writing the letter in my mind. I can remember saying under my breath, “God, you mean this is all I was created for? I can't even fill a tiny little building like this?”

I was haunted by the thought that I had become a pastor to a dead, lifeless, declining church, which was the very thing I said I would never be. I felt like I didn't have the energy or desire to go on.

During that time we would sit in staff meetings and our youth pastor, Sean, would say, “Pastor, just tell us who we are as a church.”

That was the most frustrating question I had ever been asked. I found myself struggling to find the answer. I would lay in bed at night with that question haunting me. I couldn't answer it. I couldn't figure it out. I didn't know who we were.

One day, a staff member came to me and asked if our staff could go to C3. I didn't even know what a C3 was. He explained that it was a conference at a church in the Dallas area. At that point, the only thing that sounded good to me was getting out of town for a few days.

A small group of us traveled to Grapevine, Texas and drove up to a mammoth facility called Fellowship Church. The parking lot was packed and as we entered the front doors we were greeted by the friendliest people I'd ever encountered. You might even say that they were over the top. It was like Disneyland on steroids. We were ushered inside to a massive crowd that was buzzing. They were all so excited. I felt like they knew something I didn't know. You couldn't help but sense the excitement and anticipation. The doors opened and everyone started running to the front of the auditorium. We got caught up in the fast-moving crowd and found ourselves on the fourth row in the very center.

The service started and it was completely different than anything I had ever experienced before. I sat in total amazement as Ed Young stepped out onto the stage – bigger than life. I held on to every word and I found myself not wanting his sermon to end. Church was electrifying, alive and engaging. For the first time ever, I experienced a production-style service. Lights, cameras, giant video screens and dancers. A huge curtain dropped and the worship team came out blazing. You felt like you needed to fasten your seat belt. This was church like never before!

My heart raced and my emotions became uncontrollable. Tears began to flow. I tried to stop them but I couldn't. I couldn't remember the last time I felt liberated in a church service. What I sensed was excitement and freedom. It was youthful and fun. It was like breathing fresh air.

A few days later the conference was over and that Saturday morning I asked our staff to meet in my hotel room before checking out. I wanted to spend some time debriefing. I wanted to hear from each one what they had experienced. Going around the room each person expressed their thoughts about the conference. One by one they shared. The room was filled with an air of excitement and hope. Their eyes were bright and conversation alive. It was like a light of hope had been switched on.

When everyone had finished, I stood, fighting back tears and said, "Guys, I know who we are. I can finally tell you who we are. We are Fellowship Church." We had come to find out that Fellowship Church was one of the most cutting edge and creative churches in America and had a congregation of about twenty thousand people.

I can't tell you how foolish I felt saying that was who we were because we weren't anything like Fellowship Church. We weren't even a little bit like them. To state it correctly, we were as opposite from them as you could possibly be. Of course, I made that statement knowing you can't become someone else. It was what they were doing and how they were attracting and reaching a young generation that I found so appealing. For the first time in my life I saw it. I had experienced it. And I wanted it. It was a dream I could see and I wasn't about to let it go.

We traveled back home to our 75-year-old, traditional church. Our building was old and uninviting. We had duct tape holding down the seams of the carpet.

As I mingled through the crowd that Sunday morning, I had a smirk on my face. I felt I had a secret that no one else knew and I was about to explode.

The First Reveal, Ouch!!
That next week I called a board meeting to share with them what I had experienced at C3. I was prepared to share with them our new church vision. We all gathered...