Spiritual Adultery and the Passionate Love of God

“Lord!” I screamed. “Where are You? How am I going to make it through all this? Please help me understand what's happening!”

Spiritual Adultery & The Passionate Love of God was birthed out of three major life crises in my life, piled up like a train wreck!

God's challenge to me was: “Who/What is going to be “First” in your life?” He did not leave me to figure it out on my own, but sent three counteracting means to help me come to right choices and conclusions: an “earth-angel,” a life-changing dream, and a defining moment.

The heaven-sent “earth-angel” confirmed what the “something more” was that I had been looking for. She helped to broaden and deepen my knowledge of the Person of the Holy Spirit. Greater love was available—much more than I ever imagined. “A 1,000-pound weight lifted off my shoulders. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.” I didn't know what an adventure I was beginning.

Although I had experienced dreams in which I believed God was speaking to me, none had ever been as lengthy and specific as the one I had on July 23, 1973. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Two days later, as I was doing some Bible reading, I came across a verse that said what part of my dream had been. I was stunned! “The unexplainable warmth of God's love flooded me. My knees felt weak; my mind could not explain what was going on in my spirit. As I sat there, pondering this scripture, a new courage rose up inside.”

God has to test us! He knows where our heart-commitment is, but wants us to see if we do. I was facing the biggest test of my life. Would I truly put Him “first?” Was my relationship with Him really real?

“A lady at church whom I didn't know, came up to me after a service. Her voice was trembling. She said she believed she was to give me a scripture—1 Peter 4:12-14 (KJV). “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you; but rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy. If you be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are you, for the spirit of glory and of God rests upon you; on their part He is evil spoken of, but on your part He is glorified.””

“I assured the lady that this was confirmation of what God had already been speaking to my heart. I thanked her for being obedient to Him. In the midst of my pain, those hard words brought comfort and strength. They would continue to help me in the challenging days ahead.

God was showing me a side of His character I had not understood before. He IS a jealous God! I found out the more I sought Him, the more He drew me to Himself. He was teaching me what it means to seek Him FIRST.

Throughout this process, my hunger grew for more of Jesus through the Word and prayer. The words, spiritual adultery, thrust me into an intense search for understanding.

In all of my searching, I discovered the powerful gifts of repentance and forgiveness. I began to get a glimpse of God's heartache over His children, the Church, as we ignore His passionate love for us, as we continue to commit this grievous sin of unbelief!

Because God loves me, He led me through a series of lessons on discernment which will NEVER be forgotten.

I kept looking back to “Egypt” to satisfy me, even after all God had taught me. At one point near the end of my discernment schooling, I couldn't take anymore! “At this point my heart broke. I sat on the floor and wept. “God, You've got to get me out of this mess! All I've ever wanted is to love and follow you and help people, but instead I keep getting stuck in sin. How will I ever get clean?” I felt His loving arms come around me. He spoke in a voice inside me that I'll never forget, “I don't care what you've done; I will always love you.””

God is very thorough. He sticks with us through everything. He knows who is seeking Him and who is not. He is that Master Potter who knows just how much testing we can take. He knows just when to say, “Atta girl!” At the end of my testing (for that time) He blessed me so abundantly I could hardly believe it!

My personal story mushroomed into a message to God's present-day beloved disciples—a message of warning, and of hope. I believe God's greatest desire is that we would KNOW HIM, and respond to His incredible love for us!