For His Glory

Amelia stayed outside the rest of the afternoon, preferring to breathe the fresh air rather than remain inside the house listening to Mama and Edward talk about financial troubles and the necessity of selling slaves. She’d heard enough about that today.
She walked through the plantation grounds, looking at everything around her. She wandered down the pathway, studying all the flowers, watching the stream trickle down across the edge of the property. Nan’s mother Maggie, toted heavy buckets of water from that stream to do the washing. Amelia’s heart went out to her, wondering if her tears would be mingled with the soapy suds in the days ahead as she grieved for her young daughter who had been taken away from her by force.
She went past the stable, the barn, the cotton gin house, and the small house where Mr. Hampton, the overseer, lived. She passed by the cotton fields, observing the slaves hard at work. In a few weeks, the harvesting season would begin, and they would work even longer hours than usual. She went past the slave cabins, tiny one-room structures with dirt floors and no windows. It felt strange, as if she were looking at things she had never seen before.
Or perhaps she had just never seen them in this light before. To her, Maple Grove had always been a happy place, a safe place where all was well, or at least most things were. She was happy there, and she’d always assumed that everyone else was, too, since she’d never heard anything to the contrary. It had always seemed comfortable and contented. It had always felt like home.
But maybe it didn’t feel like home to everyone. Maybe the slaves were not as contented and happy as she thought. Betty longed to be free. Maybe some of the other slaves did as well. Maybe they all did. Maybe there was a side to plantation life that she had never considered before.
The fact that she had never considered it before did nothing to make it any less real to her now. The more she thought, the more she saw that it was real, and it was the kind of reality that gave a person a sick feeling deep inside.
For the first time in her life, Amelia began to wonder why there was slavery, if there had to be slavery, and whether or not God had anything to do with slavery. Did He approve of it? Or did He dislike it? Did it matter to Him at all? Did He concern Himself with anything that went on outside of the four walls of a church? She wasn’t sure about that, either.
Right now, she wasn’t really sure of anything.
Reluctantly, she went back inside at suppertime and joined Mama and Edward at the table. The food looked nourishing, but she had a hard time eating any of it. The sick feeling was still too strong for her to be much concerned with food.
At least neither Mama nor Edward made any mention of Mr. Alberton’s visit. Amelia was grateful for that. Still, she thought she could sense some tension in the air as the family ate their meal, and she was relieved when it was over.
After supper, Mama and Edward presented her with a new cloak as a birthday present. She thanked them both sincerely. The cloak’s dark green wool was soft to the touch. She would get a lot of use out if it when the weather turned cold.
Then she thought of Nan. Would she have suitable clothes to keep warm this winter at the Alberton Plantation? Most slave owners provided their slaves with only enough clothing to get by. There would not be any warm, woolen cloaks for Nan and Martha this year, or any other year. That thought quenched what little excitement she had been able to work up.
Excusing herself as soon as possible, Amelia escaped up the stairs to her room. She gazed out of the window across from her bed, watching the sun sink slowly in the western sky. The sunset that evening was magnificent; ribbons of red, orange, blue, and pink were scattered across the horizon as if woven in a beautiful tapestry. But the breathtaking scene did little to lift her heavy heart.
She had begun the day with such high spirits, only to have them come crashing down. Many thoughts now swirled around in her head - troubling thoughts.
Thoughts about slavery and plantations and the unhappy circumstances of people whose skin was different than her own.
Thoughts about a beloved friend who now served a new master on a different plantation.
Thoughts about a mother who had just lost her only child.
Thoughts about a wonderful person like Betty being unhappily enslaved.
Thoughts about a God she knew nothing about.
Amelia climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her head, deciding that birthdays were overrated.