Destined to Fly

Most of my adult life I have been trying to figure out why I’m here, what I’m supposed to be doing, and what purpose God has for me, if any. I kept to myself for the most part growing up, and had a few close friends here and there. I accepted Christ as a teen, and grew up in church not fully understanding life beyond salvation. After I graduated from high school and started college, I thought I was grown and could make it on my own, without God. I still believed in Him, He just wasn’t a priority at the time. I had grown up in church, and figured that I had done my time, so I was old enough to decide that I didn’t need to go to church anymore. Instead, I had come to know God on an “in case of emergency” basis. My thought was, that I knew just enough about God that I only needed to contact Him in the event that I was in some kind of trouble. Within three months of being on campus I lost my virginity, started drinking, had no real identity, and God and His church were the furthest things from my mind. I wanted to be loved so desperately that I started looking for love in all of the wrong places. Most of the time when I talked to God, I was either hung-over, praying that I would pass an exam, or scared that I might be pregnant. I relied more on my astrological sign and my peers than I did on God. To say the least, I was lost. After a few years I got tired of crying, tired of hurting, tired of the disappointments, tired of living with no real direction, and thought that just maybe I did need God after all. But what in the world could He do with a mess like me? Could He really clean up the train wreck that I made of myself? Were the plans that He had for me still available for my access? I wasn’t sure, but I definitely wanted to find out. The truth was, in spite of my shortcomings, my destiny had already been written, and it was waiting for my arrival.