Blind Faith

Chapter 1 
My Testimony 
I was born with a rare eye condition called aniridia, which is the absence of an iris, usually in both eyes. The job of the iris is to limit the amount of light coming into the eyes. Not having an iris in either of my eyes hinders me from seeing clearly. When the doctors realized I had aniridia, they told my parents I was legally blind. After seeing many doctors to find a cure for me, they found none. As my parents’ hope turned into misery, something happened that changed their lives forever. 
At the time, my parents didn’t have a relationship with the Lord. Then one day, my father was studying the Bible and came across something interesting. He found a Scripture that offered the answer to all their problems. He came across the passage by looking up my name and birthday. I was born May 15th, and since May is the fifth month of the year, my father looked up James 5:15 (AMP), which says, “And the prayer (that is) of faith will save him who is sick, and the Lord will restore him; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” That Scripture gave my parents hope God was going to heal me. 
With renewed spirits, my parents started going to church on a regular basis. They finally heard the gospel message and got saved. Growing up in a Christian household was wonderful, but my problem was making friends at school. The children made fun of me because of my disability. I stored a lot of bitterness and anger inside me. 
I was eight years old and sitting in a Sunday school class. On that particular day, we had a guest speaker. This man preached the whole gospel message. He explained Jesus was the Son of God. Before that, I never knew God had a Son. The speaker went on to explain Jesus died for all my sins. This was difficult for me to comprehend. After all, why would Jesus, a man I never met, die for me? At the end of the speaker’s message, he made an altar call. He said, “If you’re looking for a friend, I encourage you to come down here and make Jesus the Lord of your life. He will be your best friend.” I desperately wanted a friend, so I approached the altar and accepted Jesus in my life. After praying with the preacher, I opened my eyes and felt different. I felt a love and peace in my heart I had never felt before. The bitterness I had toward those kids who mocked me was completely gone. It was at that very moment I knew Jesus Christ was real. 
The kids at school still made fun of me, but it didn’t bother me anymore. I knew God loved me and that’s all I needed. As time went on, the kids realized their jokes weren’t bothering me anymore, so they eventually became my friends. I became so popular that in my senior year of high school, I was crowned homecoming king. That blessing only happened because the true King of kings lives inside me. 

God’s Plan 
When I was seventeen years old, my dream was to become a sportscaster, but God had a different plan for my life. I was lying in my bed one night, about to fall asleep, when I suddenly heard a voice speak to me. By this point, I had known the Lord for nine years, but I had never heard His voice. I always thought if God were going to speak to me, there would be rain and thunder and a loud voice from heaven. The voice I heard was a whisper. “Son.” Quietly I listened. He said, “Son,” about four more times. 
I finally turned on the light and asked, “God, is that you?” 
“Yes, it is I, son.” 
There I was, talking to the Creator of the universe. And all I could say was, “God, what do you want?” 
“I want you to be a pastor and preach My Word.” 
“What about my dream of becoming a sportscaster?” 
“My plan is greater.” 
“Okay, Lord.” I fell asleep that night not thinking too much about it. When I woke up, my passion for sports was gone. I had an overwhelming desire to read the Bible. It was at that moment I knew God had really called me to the ministry. 
I applied to different Bible colleges and was accepted by Nyack College. I started my freshman year of college in 2001. Everything was going great until my faith was tested. I was in a chapel service, and the pastor told everyone to turn to the book of Psalms. As I put on my reading glasses, my vision became blurry. I thought my glasses were dirty, so I took them off to clean them. As I took my glasses off, darkness surrounded me. I was totally blind. Somebody helped me back to my dorm room, so I could contact my parents. When I called home, my father picked up the phone. I explained to him that I couldn’t see. He told me, “Don’t worry, Jim. Your mother and I will be right down there to get you to the doctor.” 
In the ten years I had known the Lord, I never fought with Him until that day. When I got off the phone with my father, I started yelling at God. “How could You let this happen to me? I’ve been obedient to You. I gave up my sportscasting dream to follow You.” After yelling at Him, I sat alone in silence, trying to hear His voice. As time passed, I couldn’t hear anything and that scared me. I felt as if God had abandoned me. Then Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV) came into my mind: “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” It felt like a false promise. My faith in God started to crumble.