Honor

"You don't have to do this," she said, recognizing the pain welling up in his voice. It was clear she understood how hard this would be, how much pain would have to be endured.
Brent knew she meant it, but he wanted to go on. She had expressed interest in him and he decided the way to hold on to her was to keep that interest, and that meant telling her what she wanted to know, regardless of the anxiety it caused him. "I guess it's time I get it off my chest. I've been carrying it around for a while. Haven't talked to anyone about it, other than my doctor, and even he doesn’t know the whole story. There was only a simple report, and that never made it to anyone outside, at least not that I know of."
Erika turned to face him, drawing her chair closer and crossing her legs toward him. "My dad used to have that look in his eyes. Every time he tried to tell me a story about where he had been, or what he had done. He could never finish, and I think that’s always been a roadblock between us. It was always the wedge that kept us apart. So I understand if you don't want to talk. I know it’s not easy for you."
He shook his head, "How long can a guy hold this stuff in before it eats its way out? I don't want to talk about it, but I need to."
Erika took his hand and gave him a nice, gentle smile, her teeth white as snow and her lips full and succulent, "Well, I don’t expect you to, but I’ll listen as long as you talk, okay?”
He cleared his throat and continued, "Okay. Well, that second volley of shots took out the captain and 1st Platoon's commanding officer. Guy named Harris. I forget his first name. I turned around and ordered everyone to the dirt, not that anybody needed telling, but there wasn't much for us to hide behind so I’m not sure what good it did. It was a clearing, and the only cover was a ditch to the right and a few boulders back behind me. It opened up flat at the base of this hill, and our guys were completely out in the open. More than half the company was up near the base and had no place to go. Bunch of guys were scattered here and there, some found cover toward the rear, a few were in the open on their stomachs, and there was a lot of fire coming down on us.
"I got cover behind a log that was wedged into some rocks in this little wash that ran down our right flank. Mulder was already there. He was 2nd Platoon CO. Squatted himself down tight against a little rock with his gun over his head, screaming for it to stop. I tapped him on the shoulder, asked him what his orders were. He was senior with Captain Springer gone. It was his call, but he was all knotted up inside. He couldn't move, couldn't talk, didn't know what to do.
“I had worked with Mulder for about nine months. He was the typical tough-guy type. Always bragged about himself. But he’d never really been in a tight spot before. Funny thing, all this noise and racket and the bullets weren’t even flying our direction. Either way, I needed orders and the guy responsible was AWOL in his own helmet.”
Their waitress stopped by to clear plates and offer coffee. Brent refused, saying it kept him up at night, but Erika ordered a cup along with a piece of cheesecake.
“What?” She asked when Brent gave her a teasing look, “A girl’s got to have her cheesecake. You think I keep this figure eating salad all the time?”
Brent smiled and let himself laugh for a moment. She had a fantastic way of letting the air back into the moment, and he appreciated her light hearted defense. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the way it works.”
“Who cares.”
He laughed again and then continued, "So, back behind me,” he said, a little smile still present on his lips, “Third Platoon was running back into the tree line, trying to get covering fire on the hill, but they were still scattered to hell. Next to me, on my right and tucked in behind Mulder, is this young kid. He’d been with us for about three months, but he was the only other guy that had found any decent cover, so I grabbed his collar and yelled for him to get to the rear. I told him there were two pill boxes on the hill that had all of us pinned down in the clearing, and only Third Platoon had any cover. I told him to ask Lieutenant Pearson for orders, and get back to me.
"That kid was so scared, but he did what I asked. I thought it was pretty amazing that a scared kid like that was so ready to fight when his macho CO was hunkered down sucking his thumb. Kid rushed down that wash with bullets snapping over his head and dirt dancing around him, and he dove through the tree line, and that's the last I ever saw of him. Never found out where he went. Different guy came back up the wash, but I don't remember his name. He brought news back that Pearson had been hit and was out of it. They thought he would live, but it was bad enough they couldn't move him.
"That left us down our CO and two of three 1st lieutenants, with the third one sitting in his own crap right next to me. As far as the chain of command went, there were still plenty of officers laying about, but they were all pinned down, and I couldn't get near any of them. It was me and Mulder, and he was useless.
Brent’s eyes were focused on hers, but his mind was completely lost in thought, “Other than me, Captain Springer was the only guy in the company who had been around for more than a few years. Most had just done their time and moved on, or moved up the chain, so we were a bit short on experience, and I couldn’t get to the other officers, so I had to start thinking what to do.
"I took Mulder’s field glasses and got a good look up the hill. There was a lot of smoke and tracers were ripping all over the place, so it was hard to make sense of things, but I got a good look at the pill box on my side of the hill. It was about fifty yards straight up the wash, but it was firing mostly down on the clearing. There were two heavy machine guns in there, and several guys covering the flanks. If I had more time to organize, I might have sent a squad up their flank to draw some fire, and rush another squad right at them, but there wasn't any time and no one to organize. There was me, and below me seventy guys caught in the open. They couldn't stand, kneel or lie down. It was a mess."
Brent paused to take a long drink from his water glass, chew on a fry, and slowly eat a slice of pickle. “Toward the top of the hill I could see the civilians. They were hunkered down, about seven or eight of them. That’s when it occurred to me that it was a trap. They had been captured, likely ordered to call for help. The whole thing was a setup.” Brent shook his head and looked down as Erika’s hand stroked his arm. She had amazing legs.