From Victim to Victory

Those of us who have children have all seen a two year old throw a temper tantrum. Something doesn’t go his way. He doesn’t get what he wants or he doesn’t want to do what he is told. So he bursts into tears, falls down on the floor, kicks and screams. All this flailing and carrying on is to get everyone’s attention. His antics are making a strong declaration: “I am hurt. Everyone should come to my aid and give me what I want (demand).” He portrays himself as the victim, and he uses his role to manipulate others so that they will give in to his will. 
No one had to teach this child how to manipulate through a temper tantrum. He acquired this ability at conception. It is part of his innate nature, like an instinct. King David understood. He wrote that he was a sinner from conception. (Psalms 51:5) 
This little child knows that his behavior is only an act of defiance for the purpose of getting his way. If everyone leaves the house where his screaming cannot be heard and his flailing cannot be seen, he immediately stops. 

In this study we will reveal many who are victims by choice, and we will reveal that the true source of their victimization is not their circumstances, an organization, government or people. Their greatest source comes from believing lies about themselves, others and situations. In short, they are victims of believing a lie and living out a lie. They may be rewarded for their victim identity, but in the end they come up short. People with a victim mentality do not live a victorious life. 
Certainly there are true victims. Someone may become crippled from a car accident. Someone may have been mugged and raped. Someone may have been abused as a child. Someone may have lost their job. Someone may have lost their house in a natural disaster. Someone may have a debilitating disease. The list of possibilities is endless. The issue is not if someone has unwillingly become a victim. The issue is one of self-perception. 
Ironically, sometimes the greatest victimization is not what happens outwardly or physically or even emotionally. The greatest victimization occurs when the victim takes on an identity as a victim. They see themselves as being a victim. It is not so much an issue of what happened to them, but rather, who they are. Defining yourself as a victim is a choice to victimize yourself. It is a trap that promises special advantages, but in reality creates a misguided bondage. 

Self-victimization began in the beginning when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It should have been obvious that they willfully failed to obey God’s command and warning to them. But instead of confessing their guilt, they made themselves out as victims. They made excuses and blamed their behavior on others. (Genesis 3:8-13) 
Adam blamed God and the woman God gave him for his own choice to disobey. Eve blamed the serpent. Neither of them took personal responsibility for their disobedience. Instead, they made themselves a victim of others, placing the blame on someone else. Adam blamed God for setting him up with his wife, and Eve blamed the serpent. Notice that Eve made a choice to believe the serpent, which also meant that she chose to believe that God was lying to her about dying if she ate of the forbidden tree. Somehow she saw herself as a victim of the serpent, but it was her choice to trust the serpent and distrust God. 
Likewise, Adam knew what God told him about this dangerous tree. It was Adam’s choice to follow his wife’s leading rather than God’s commands. He could have been victorious. He could have stepped in and told the serpent to leave. 
Are we any different than Adam and Eve? Of course, we do not live in the Garden of Eden. But have we not inherited a sinful nature from Adam and Eve. This nature is prone to blaming others for our shortcomings by making ourselves out to be a victim. 
Blaming is the victim’s tool for projecting the responsibility and guilt on others to relieve themselves from guilt. They portray themselves as a poor victim of someone’s sin against them. 

The victim sees himself as the one who has been offended by others. Initially, that may be a proper perspective. But one who holds onto a victim view of himself becomes his own worst victimizer. His entire life becomes a trap, and he cannot escape. His viewpoint brings about depression, hopelessness, bitterness, anger, anxiety and self-pity. He fails to have close relationships because everyone becomes his enemy. Because of his constant complaining and blaming, no one wants to be his friend. He never experiences the joy of the Lord that comes by giving up his life for others (John 15). He may fail at his endeavors at work, at home, his relationships, etc., not because of others, but because of his own view of himself. 

True fellowship with God requires having true fellowship with one another. (1 John 4:7-12) When Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s warning to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the first thing they did was to cover up their own nakedness so as to hide (isolate) from each other. Then they hid among the trees to hide (isolate) themselves from God. When they were confronted with their disobedience, they immediately accused others for their disobedience. (Genesis 3:6-13) Not only did they hide, but when they were discovered, they hid themselves in a lie. 
True fellowship with God requires of us to come out of hiding, to come out into his light where all can be seen, not just by God, but by one another. If we want to have fellowship with God, we must also have open fellowship with one another. Isolation from one another produces isolation from God as well. If we are hiding from one another, we are also hiding from God. Adam and Eve hid from each other and from God out of shame and fear. The antidote for shame and fear is to trust God with our lives. To trust in God is pure wisdom. Trusting in our own ability to protect ourselves is pure foolishness. (Proverbs 28:26) 
Trusting in God for our security is wisdom. God loves us and promises to protect us, even from those who may desire to harm us. (Psalm 25:1-3, 56:3-4) 

We live in a very frightening world. Someone may physically abuse us, take from us, and worst of all attack our character, self-worth, our identity and reputation. They may withhold love from us, judge us, criticize us and slander our reputation with lies. It is understandable how someone who has been deeply hurt goes into hiding and is afraid to come out. It is understandable how they may be sociable on the outside, but no one ever sees the true inside. Someone may even be a very successful person in the world’s eyes, but inside they are trapped in fear, a lack of confidence, maybe even guilt, and low self-worth. Those who have constructed these walls of isolation struggle with inner safety from those on the outside, but inside they struggle with themselves, and there is no wall to protect us from the destruction that can occur all on its own within the heart of man. 
We have to make openings in these walls. The openings are decisive areas of trust. First, we trust God to love and protect us from all harm. We trust him to uphold us even if we are under abusive attack. Then we openly choose to trust another individual. Trusting people is always a risk, for everyone struggles with his own sin, which has the power to offend. So how can we put ourselves at risk?