Down But Not Out

Introduction:

At seven years old, life held unlimited possibilities. I enjoyed the present with the sort of enthusiasm only a child has, and the future looked amazing. When I was young, I could not wait to grow up so that I could scale the heights of Mt. Kenya and enjoy the snow on its top. From my maternal grandparents’ home, it was just five miles to the base of the mountain.

To the south of our home the wildebeests raced as they performed their well-orchestrated annual migration in the Maasai Mara.

Nearby, deep in the Great Rift Valley, the so-called “cradle of mankind,” I experienced years of unmatched beauty. Sunny Saturdays at our home were filled with the smell of fresh-mown grass and the orange splash of Mexican marigold blossoms bordering our lawn. Muddy pools, tadpoles, the dismantling of grasshoppers, lollypops, and meat pies—oh what a life I had.

Each Saturday, my dad would bring out the lawn mower. The “put-put” of its tiny four-horsepower engine sent shivers down my spine. The anticipation, excitement… the simple prospect of spending time with Dad was overwhelming. The reward at the end was a large pile of cushiony new grass trimmings that I could frolic in. With a mighty “Whoop!” I would charge at the pile, then just as I was about to hit it, I would catapult my lithe, sinewy muscles into a summersault…

Chapter 1: Lead With Intent

“If you have a vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy. If you don’t have a clear vision, no strategy will save you.” ~Michael Hyatt

Leaders (and Fathers) Must Have a Vision At nine, I had my spiritual awakening when I committed my life to my Maker, a commitment I made with my mother by my side. Right there, on the dirt floor of our living room, I bent my knee and asked God to take over my heart and life. That day, I gained a friend greater than any I had yet to meet, or ever will.

At the same age, I discovered a wonderful horse called Black Beauty. Black Beauty is a novel by English author Anna Sewell, written in 1877. It was composed in the last years of her life, during which she remained in her house as an invalid. While forthrightly teaching animal welfare, it also teaches how to treat people with kindness, sympathy, and respect. That year, Black Beauty was being serialized on national television. I must have been the only boy in my class who was watching the amazing production of this wonderful classic. Superman, Spider-Man, and the Fantastic 4 were the rave with all the other boys. I watched those heroes too, but they all paled in comparison to my beloved Black Beauty.

In the story, Black Beauty’s is initially a carriage horse for wealthy people, but when he "breaks his knees" (he develops scars on his knees after a bad fall), he is no longer considered presentable enough and is given much harder work. As he passes through the hands of a series of owners—some cruel, some kind—he always tries his best to serve those humans regardless of the circumstance.

The reasons I was star-struck by this majestic horse were two-fold. First, he was going through misery similar to my own. I was this scrawny, skinny kid, desperately trying to find out what my identity was. The second reason was his resilience. Black Beauty continued to perform good deeds even though he was repeatedly mistreated. I, too, knew suffering; I was constantly taken advantage of by very close relatives who manipulated me into silence thereafter. I was learning from Black Beauty that negative circumstances did not have to make me a negative person…

Chapter 2: Broken Windows

“The indispensible first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.” ~Ben Stein

Leaders Must Make Decisions

Being a leader at home is a complex affair; at times it can be downright frustrating. Children grow through different stages at a breathtaking rate. No sooner have you hit the pit stop than you have to head back out to the speedway mighty fast. It does not matter whether you have had time to refuel or change your tires, life must go on.

The hurried pace of modern life may blur your vision for the minute issues and problems that crop up repeatedly. It becomes comforting to “park” these issues off the track, to be sorted out later. The issues pile up, and soon you are in deep trouble! To understand where you are headed into it, you must acknowledge the environment you exist in:

• Who are your friends?

• What inspires your choices?

• Do you have clearly articulated goals for your life?

Appreciating the context in which you exist becomes your launch pad to the next big choice: you may wallow in the muck, or you can work to identify the factors that led you into the muck and then begin to free yourself from it. In life, we have to make tough decisions as we respond to the three questions above. One decision may be to reduce the amount of time you spend on our work commitments and invest more time in our immediate families (wife and children). Another may involve taking a pay cut in the short term to ensure that you develop solid relationships with our family in the long term. This may also require you to seriously evaluate our external friendships and sever those that compromise other significant relationships. Note the long-term rewards that will come if people do make the hard (but positive) choice of prioritizing family over everything…