Touching the Edge of Heaven

Chapter 5
Encompassed in the Light of God
It was a cold, bleak, rainy night on November 15, 2001. It started off like any normal Thursday night would. I was not able to contemplate the events that were about to unfold. I attended the Thursday night horse auction with my roommate to watch the different horses as they trotted by. I found it to be relaxing to sit and have a beer while watching horses, saddles, leads, and other equipment being auctioned off. I asked my daughter to come with me, and she declined. After the auction, we stopped for a late dinner and a few drinks and then went to another establishment for a few more drinks.
As we headed for home, a cold, sharp rain striking the windshield, we drove along Highway 202. I saw the bright headlights of a Mack truck coming up fast from behind us. It rear-ended the back of my Nissan. I heard shattering glass and screeching tires on cement. I went through the back side window, shattering the glass with my body. I soared thirty feet in the air onto cement. I landed on the V between the highway and the exit ramp. My left leg was dislocated and up behind my head. My body was cut all over from the glass and being thrown onto the pavement. There I lay, with blood and glass all over me.
All I remember is a huge flash of light. I felt like a huge bird with enormous wings picked me up by my shoulders and pulled me up, higher and higher. The loud, thundering sound of its wings seemed to shake my entire being. Every time I was pulled up another notch, I heard the thundering wings and saw a face from my past. I would look deep into their eyes, into the depths of emotion in their souls. I saw one face at a time, like on a 33mm film that hadn’t been developed yet and was pulled out from the camera. As I looked deep into their eyes, I felt the emotion that I gave to that person from a moment in time.
The first face I saw was the face of a little girl I was mean to and teased when I was young a long time ago in the house I grew up in. I felt the hurt, pain, and sadness in her heart, how lost, alone, and deep in despair she felt in that moment.
Then the bird pulled me up again with the thundering sound of its wings, shaking everything. I saw another face in the film—like an old boyfriend. While I looked into his eyes, I felt the pain deep down in his heart at the moment I broke up with him. This feeling penetrated deep into my soul.
As the bird’s thundering wings pulled me up, I saw yet another face on the film. I looked into the soul of my Meme’s eyes and felt the deep joy and love of a moment in time. I saw the smile she had on her birthday and felt the intense love that she had for me.
I saw into each person’s soul, and in between, I would feel and hear the thunder of the wings as I was pulled higher and higher. Every frame was a happy or sad moment in time for someone in my past. In every frame, each person’s face I looked upon would bring me deep into an emotion I gave to them. It seemed like it went on forever. I was pulled higher and higher.
There were many eyes on the wheels; they kept going and going. I felt intense sadness, happiness, grief, love, hatred, joy, pity, madness, and wonder. All of these emotions tirelessly went back and forth, and I saw different faces and eyes. This was the most exhausting thing I ever had to go through. I believe that this is a purification one needs to undergo to enter the kingdom of heaven.
All of a sudden, I was alone in the darkness. As it hovered all around, panic began to set in. I stood there, frozen, with my eyes carefully searching for any sign of life. The very essence of this atmosphere began to come alive. There was a long tunnel made of dark amethyst stones. As I gazed into the distance, I saw a faint, small flicker of light. I felt a presence touching my right hand. I looked on my right, and there was a woman next to me. She took my hand, not touching but holding it. I felt a covering of peace embrace my body in a strange but familiar way. I knew this woman would keep me safe as we gracefully flowed to an unknown destination.
A satisfying, comforting feeling washed over me. I began to look all around. The deep purple walls began to glisten with vitality. To my amazement, the shimmering hues began to take on a form of their very own. As we slowly moved, I could see walls ahead on the left and right, with sounds coming from both sides. As we drew closer, I could see dark holes within the walls. I could feel the arms of discontentment reaching out toward us. I tried to look for faces but could only hear the slight sounds of mourning, lost souls crying out from behind the walls. My heart felt a deep sense of sorrow for the souls who seemed so distressed.
Without fear, I looked to my right at the woman beside me. She was very beautiful and angelic in her appearance. She had long, dark, wavy hair and pale white skin. She was dressed in a white flowing gown and had dark brown eyes and red lips. She reminded me of my Aunty Anita who had committed suicide when I was a child. We walked, but it was not like walking on earth. We flowed together through this place. I started to notice the small flicker of light in the distance.
As we slowly drew closer to this light, it became apparent that this would be my final destination. My entire concentration was now focused and intrigued by this light. The intensity of this light began to magnify and consume us. I felt an intense love and immeasurable peace all around me. When I looked to my right, the beautiful, angelic woman was gone.
I was encompassed in this glorious light. I glanced out in the distance, and I could see a woman in a silky smooth, shining white robe. The closer and more encompassed I became, the more it became clear. There I stood, ten feet away from my Meme. The light was extremely bright and translucent; yet it did not hurt my eyes. The intensity of the all-consuming power and glory of the light of God came rushing from behind my Meme and poured right into me. This awesome powerful light of God encompassed above, below, and all around us.
I felt like I was wrapped in the arms of a most powerful God, and I felt a strong, unconditional love of God holding us both still in this place. This holy presence of God penetrated my innermost being—mind, heart, body, and soul. I stood there, unable to move, with an intense, euphoric feeling of just being.
There she was, my Meme, the most influential person in my life. She was the woman who taught me about the Bible, the Trinity, how to live, and how to die. She was the woman who was always there for me when I needed her and who I adored the most in my life. There she was, standing right in front of me. The last time I saw her, she was sick with cancer and dying in a bed in her living room. She was completely healed and more beautiful than I could even imagine as she stood there in her long, white, flowing gown. She was smiling with her arms wide open. The preeminence of God flowed through her into me.
Revelation 21:4–5 says,
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”