When the Lamps Go Out

Hilda sat curled up in the parlor with a book in her lap. The darkness outside swallowed the entire street, but the lamps burned brightly throughout the room. Dinner had been a quiet affair, but she had looked up many times to find Jesse watching her. There was so much said in his gaze. Somehow, something had changed over the course of that afternoon. She didn’t know how to describe it, but whatever it was had caused her to lose her concentration all evening. She shut her book slowly and leaned her elbow against the arm of the couch. Her gaze became lost in the lamp light, but only for a moment.
A door down the hall suddenly banged open, and the angry voices of her brothers could be heard throughout the house.
“I saw you with her again today!” 
“Dederick, please. We are just friends. And what we do is none of your business.”
“It is my business, as a member of the Third Reich, and you are not just friends!” Dederick insisted.
Hilda silently stood from the couch and went over to the door, leaning her ear closer. Her brothers’ voices were clearly heard now.
“Why does it matter to you? You don’t have to be friends with her anymore if you don’t want to,” Paul said. “But Hannah and I…she has lost so much lately, what with the Nuremberg Race Laws coming into being. She needs a friend right now, and I choose to be that friend.”
“Those laws are in place for our protection, and you would just go off and allow those Jews to continue benefiting from us?” Dederick was shouting now.
Another door opened across the hall, and quiet footsteps hurried toward the voices.
“Boys, please.” It was Hilda’s mother. “Our guest is just down the hall. Please don’t bring your politics into the house.”
“Dederick thinks he knows exactly what he’s talking about, Mother!” Paul exclaimed, very angry now. “He hasn’t a clue what is going on. He’s just a kid.”
A scuffle was heard, and Hilda started as bodies thudded against the wall.
“Boys, stop it this instant. Dederick, let go!”
The scuffling stopped suddenly, but Hilda could hear their heavy breathing. She leaned closer to the door.
“Dederick that is no way for you to behave. Now you apologize to your brother this instant!” Benedikta said firmly.
“I will not, Mother! You still think me a child too. Well, I am not a child! I am the future of Germany. I am part of Hitler’s Iron Youth!”
Hilda heard the slap, and she could easily imagine Dederick’s cheek turning bright red from their mother’s slap.
“Dederick van Ostrand, if you want to be seen as a man, then stop acting like a child! You will not act this way in front of me. Is that understood?”
Hilda felt the tense silence between the three of them, and then heard Dederick’s feet stomp up the stairs to his room. Benedikta murmured something unintelligible to Paul, and he hurried down the hall toward the library. Hilda heard her mother’s footsteps coming toward her. She hurried back to the couch and sat down just as her mother opened the door and entered, closing it softly behind her. She walked slowly to a chair in front of the fire and sat down. Hilda saw her hands shaking, and a few seconds later, Benedikta’s shoulders dropped as she cried softly into her hand.
Hilda went over to her quickly and dropped to her knees in front of her.
“Oh, Mother, I’m so sorry.”
Benedikta sniffed and lifted her head.
“No, it is not your fault, Hilda. I’m sorry for ruining the evening by yelling and screaming. I can’t imagine what Jesse must be thinking. I sent Paul to him.”
Hilda took her mother’s hand and held it tightly. When she lifted her head, there were tears in her eyes. “Oh, Mother, what’s happened to him? He is always so cold and hard.”
Benedikta shook her head helplessly. “I don’t know, darling. I don’t know.”
They sat together for some time and watched the fire burn down to coals.A brisk wind began to blow outside, whistling between the trees and stealing many of the autumn leaves away. It covered all other sounds, so they didn’t hear anything until a loud knock pounded at the door. Hilda jumped.Benedikta stood quickly and went to the window as the knock came again. She turned to her daughter.
“Hilda, upstairs now.”
Hilda nodded and hurried out into the hall, where she met Jesse and Paul coming out of the library. Without a word, Jesse took her hand and led her up the stairs past Dederick, who came to the top of the landing, curiosity in his face. They didn’t say a word as they went into her bedroom and shut the door. Hilda heard Paul open the door, and the pounding of feet was heard in the hall downstairs. When she glanced at Jesse, he was watching her, bewildered.
“What’s going on? Paul just told me to go upstairs when he heard the door.”
Hilda sat down on the edge of her bed and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. She looked out the window and saw the black car parked along the curb.
“Only one person calls this late at night in Heidelberg,” she said slowly.
Jesse looked at her in confusion, and she finally raised her eyes to his. “Our friendly neighborhood policemen.”
He went to the window where she looked out, and she knew he understood. “That man this afternoon?” Jesse asked.
Hilda closed her eyes. “I’ve had dreams of it happening to me. Walking along the road one day, suddenly their car pulls up. No questions, just a hood thrown over my head and I’m dumped in the trunk ...”
Jesse sat down next to her just as footsteps came up the stairs, and Hilda grabbed his hand instinctively. He wrapped his hands around hers as they both looked toward the door. The doorknob turned, and Paul entered. Hilda let out the breath she’d been holding. Paul slowly walked over in front of her, holding her gaze with a slow nod.
“Gestapo. They’re asking for you, Hilda.”
Hilda jumped up. “I’ve said nothing, Paul. I swear!”
He took her hands gently. “Then you have nothing to fear. Don’t worry. I won’t let them take you away.”
Jesse stood, concerned. “Take her away?”
Paul led Hilda to the door and squeezed her shoulders tightly. “It’s all right, Hilda. It’s going to be all right.”
She nodded slowly, and walked out the door and down the stairs. Jesse started to follow, but Paul held him back. Jesse looked at him.
“She’s only a kid. What could she have done?”
Paul stared back at him seriously. “The Gestapo is known for filling their prisons and work camps for the smallest of wrongs. I pray Hilda didn’t say or do anything too serious, but she is independent and makes up her own mind.”
Jesse thought about their conversation that afternoon, and the ones they’d shared in the past, then stared back at the door. Had they finally given up their feeble secret attempts to eliminate her? Too many questions ran through his mind at what could happen. He had never felt more powerless to do anything, and uncertainty filled him. He did not like either of those feelings.