Depression: Journey of the Rose

If you are a depression sufferer or love someone who is, this book is for you. I am not a doctor of psychiatry or psychology. I am not a counselor or a therapist. What I am is a depression survivor. When I first began brainstorming for this book, I simply planned on compiling several journal entries of comfort, encouragement, and validity. But I sensed something more was needed...extra tools by which to make this a complete resource--not only for those suffering from depression themselves, but for their loved ones as well. For this illness affects them too as they must watch helplessly as this disease stalks their spouses and sisters, parents and brothers, children and friends. Living with depression, even if it is second handedly, is an incredible challenge-- and God bless, and I mean GOD BLESS, those loved ones who determine to care for their suffering loved one in patience and understanding. My precious parents devotedly prayed and cared for me the duration of my long-term battle with depression; they were there right beside me for sixteen (16) long years, and I can never, ever, express my truest admiration and respect for the love they freely gave.

Knowing full well how difficult it is to concentrate when severely depressed, I have purposefully sectioned this devotional book off into five (5) parts: 1) An introduction of purpose 2) A medical “fallacy and fact” description 3) My personal origin story 4) Ten speak-aloud truths 5) Fifty meditations including a title, reflection, and accompanying prayer

The entries within this book reflect, full circle, my journey with depression--as some were penned in the very midst of despair, some as I sought my healing path, and the last as I am graciously receiving restoration and health. I pray these entries allow sufferers to know they are not alone, plus grant loved ones and friends a glimpse into the world and mind set of the depressed.

It is vitally important to understand the illness of depression as it is so often misunderstood; misdiagnosed; stereotypically cruel; not taken seriously, or, in contrast, used flippantly to describe normal, momentary emotional strain that all people experience. If you get anything from this book, please know that there is help to be found! Not until just a few years ago did I finally understand my illness, and through this understanding, recognize it for what it is: a treatable illness. In fact, I find that as my understanding of my illness increases, I no longer feel like a ‘depression sufferer’ but a ‘depression survivor!’ And my prayer is that through reading this book, you will embrace this mind set as well. You are strong; you are a survivor!

Depression, as well as many other illnesses, can surely test your faith, and although it sometimes doesn’t feel like God is even there, He is. And even though you may feel alone in this experience and that no one can possibly relate to how badly you feel, someone can and does. For one, I do! I believe in God, love Him with all my heart, and understand from firsthand experience what it is like to be severely depressed. I know what it is like to be darkly hopeless and consumed with dread. I know how it feels to be so empty that tears no longer flow.

Depression is not a respecter of persons. If Christians were not susceptible to depressive illness, then would we assumedly be immune to all other medical conditions as well? Christians can have influenza, blocked arteries, heart disease, or cancer. And just as our hearts, lungs, and kidneys can be sick, so, too, can our brains! We are simply not exempt from physical ailments. We are not in heaven; therefore, we are not yet immune to the ills and diseases of earth! A wise friend of my mother’s once poignantly stated: “Isn’t it sad that Christians so often shoot their wounded?” I, fortunately, no longer feel ‘shot’ when a misinformed person makes such a claim, for I now possess freedom in my illness--a freedom that comes from finally, and simply, understanding it.

So, please take comfort: The depression is not who you really are! You feel it is, but remember, depression basically makes your feelings/emotions sick. Dr. Sam E. Rajiah, a Christian psychiatrist practicing in Akron, Ohio, tears down the fallacy that Christians cannot experience depression: “Christians are not immune to depression...but faith allows for better control, increases one’s spiritual strength, and reemphasizes the value of prayer as a means of comfort and strength.”

Additionally, consider the various accounts of depression in the Bible. Elijah asked God to take his life. David, a man after God’s own heart, penned psalm after psalm, reiterating the fact that Christians, indeed, can experience depression. Jonah is another who requested his life’s end. Job cursed the day of his birth!

And Jesus, Himself, was a man of many sorrows. He completely understands how you feel--the desperation, the dread, the isolation. In the Garden of Gethsemane He lamented the following, as recorded in Matthew 26: 38: “Then He said to them (His disciples), ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.’” Find comfort in the fact that Jesus understands your pain from personal experience! He sweat droplets of blood! And He does not, nor ever will, shame you for your depression. Praises.

I pray that my experience with depression will show you that you are not alone, and that God and others understand and have “been there.” Most of all, I pray that your time to rise and break free from depression’s chains will be soon so that you can begin to live once more. God bless you on your healing path.