God, Are You Nice or Mean?

Hope.
We finally had hope for a better tomorrow. We knew it wouldn’t all be easy and he definitely still had some bad days, but we knew what to do and had a track to run on. We knew to look for the fear and pain that lay beneath the meltdown. We knew how to see it coming and remind him to take a deep breath and use his words. We no longer feared for his future and that of the whole family.
I stayed home from work a few more weeks to solidify the gains he had made and continue to reinforce appropriate behaviors. We gradually introduced more privileges and responsibility as he continued to improve. We’d raise the bar just a little when it was time to set new expectations. Sometimes we misjudged and had to regroup, but we never again lost all hope.
Within six months from our start date, Dane was smiling more than we’d ever seen. There was a peace and contentment about him that I don’t think he’d ever known.
He now knew we’d never give up. We now knew we’d never give up. And we all now knew God would never give up on us.
I felt like God had just reached down and rescued our family. My thoughts went back to that bittersweet first day of being his legal mother in a humble flat in Romania. Why you? Why do you get to be plucked out of this hell? Then I began to wonder . . . why us? Why did we get to have this help when there are thousands of families suffering with similar issues? I didn’t know and I don’t fully know now, except that God had a plan. It certainly wasn’t the path I would have chosen, but it was a plan nonetheless. I was grateful to be a part of it and grateful that Dane was my son. Maybe God just knew a loud-mouthed, passionate Italian like me would have to tell my story.
If you are a parent on a difficult journey, I so desperately want you to know that things can get better. It’s not easy, but it is worth it to invest in the life of a child. At the time we began our home program, we believed it was a “pay now or pay severely later” situation and we are so glad that on December 28, we chose “pay now.” Children with wounds can heal and parents with broken hearts can teach them how to trust and not be afraid. Spring does follow a long, cold winter and the sun comes out after the darkness.
In our final interview, eight months after allowing the network into our home, the correspondent asked us what it felt like to see such progress in a short time. With eyes twinkling, Alan answered, “Hope, sunshine, rainbows!”