A Dance In the Dark

God purposefully does things in our lives to show Himself strong. He provides opportunities that our flesh cannot handle, just so He can show us how strong He is. He allows “Goliaths” to come into our lives, those giants that seem to scream that they are bigger than anything, just so He can show us that He is bigger than our Goliaths. He allows us to come upon a Red Sea, with our enemy closing in and we think there is no escape, just so He can show His glory by parting the sea and providing a way of escape. He challenges our devotion and obedience by asking us to lay our most treasured possessions upon the altar, just so He can provide the sacrifice and show His faithfulness. He allows us to be carried upon a caravan that seems like a great detour from the path we think we should be on, just so He can refine us and develop us to be vessels that are ready to step into the destiny He has for our lives. He gives us opportunities to partner with Him, to allow His strength to become our own, so that we can see how great and mighty He truly is.
I have always questioned God about why He chose me. He sent me a divine interruption with infertility and then gave me these children. He knew what they would deal with and what issues they would have, yet He still chose me. Not because I was qualified. He chose me because in His grace, He knew that this had a divine purpose that was far beyond my natural abilities to bring about. It has a kingdom purpose.
God did not choose to me to mother a new born baby, born of my flesh. He did not choose me to mother a child who was normal by the world’s standards. I did not get to experience the things that most mothers get to walk through and enjoy. I didn’t have nine months of experiencing a child growing inside of me. I didn’t get to experience the birthing process. None of what I have gone through has been normal according to a worldly viewpoint.
He provided a door to motherhood through a completely different means for me. One, that if given the option, I would probably have never chosen, but knowing what I do now, could not imagine my life any different. He didn’t lead me on a journey that would satisfy my earthly and natural instincts. Instead, He led me on a journey to motherhood that was far beyond my wildest dreams or imaginations. He led me on a journey that would not only change the lives of three young boys, but ultimately would change mine as well. He led me to motherhood through the pathway of the Father’s heart.