My Miracle on Mount Shasta

As I continued walking on this dry riverbed, I noticed it was going deeper into the forest and there were all kinds of bugs and small lizards on the ground. It seemed dryer than my parched throat, with no signs that water had been flowing here for years. Now I started getting really scared.

When I got that there was a chance there was no water in this direction, I was hit by the following revelation: “This is not going to lead me back to the base camp because there is no more ‘river’…in fact, I’m probably nowhere near it.”

“Now I’ve gone beyond the place where I have a water source…..meaning when I run out of the limited water in my camelback in my day pack, I will be literally OUT OF WATER… and that’s the single biggest reason people die in the wilderness, with the second reason being fear or panic.

“Oh no, this can’t be happening to me….this can’t be the way my life ends….on a lonely mountain without anyone to tell my story to or complete my relationships with”, I thought to myself as I considered my options. I became intensely aware of my thoughts from that moment forward……they were like voices in head.

One voice was saying, “OK Blaine…you’ve really done it this time….this doesn’t look good, but things will change for the better…you’ll find your way out of this…the trail out is just around the bend…you still have a lot to do in this lifetime…people need what you have to give….and God’s not done with you yet…you’ll find a path out of here soon”.

Another voice was saying, “This could be on of your last days on earth…you’re water will run out…after all, you can only last three days without water before your body starts to rot from the inside out…and it’s one of the most painful ways to die. Your strategy of following the water to find your way out hasn’t exactly worked. What’s your next strategy, Blaine? You’ve been really good in the past at coming up with options and ways out of tricky situations. What’s your plan now, Blaine?”

This was the start of my “inner battle” between my “demons”-- who were OK with me giving up and surrendering to dying on the mountain-- and the other part of me that had a strong will to survive to live another day. It was then that I realized one of my keys to survival: “I really need to take control of what’s inside my head….I’m going to have a real problem if I let myself give into the fear of losing my life….of going down. I need to control what I put my attention and intention on….it could be the difference between life and death…my own life and death”.

The next 12 hours I faced the most intense physical and mental battle of my life…and even though the physical challenges were tough, it was the mental challenges that were more formidable. I didn’t realize it at the moment, but it also gave me a unique opportunity to take an inventory of my life like I had never done before….and one that provided me with tools to turn my life around completely.

I realized I needed to come up with a new game plan. I remember looking up toward the top of the mountain at this time and I actually saw what looked like the base camp……the only problem was that it appeared to be about one mile straight up a jagged canyon that I knew I wouldn’t be able to climb. I laughed out loud…and thought “Boy, how did I get here….and how did I miss the base camp? I guess I got pretty creative coming down the mountain hiking completely around the base camp and not even noticing it.” I realized that in my tenaciousness to get to my “destination”, I had actually climbed down right passed it and not even seen it. Then I thought, “How many times have I done this is my normal life….started out toward a destination…..got tunnel vision, missing important ‘markers’ along the way….and perhaps not even reaching my destination?” I realized how paying attention is so important.

It was about this time that I started praying more seriously than I had ever prayed in my life. First I began to “plead to God”….to make “my case” for why I still needed to live. I didn’t do the thing that I’ve seen in movies, where you say, “God…if you get me out of this, I swear I’ll be a better man…I’ll go to church more often….I’ll give up all my bad habits…I’ll even tell others about you now”.

My prayer now became more of a desperate negotiation. “God, I know I have more things to do in this life….more people to serve…to help…to love….you can’t let me die here on the mountain alone. If I die now, what is the message that I have brought into the world? Isn’t there more to my message to tell people about? And I have a lot of messages I need to share still. I have more to contribute to others. Please help me to find a way out of this. Let me live through this. I have more to give and more to experience in this lifetime.”

A scripture from Peter came to me: 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:6-7

It was hard to see how God was going to “lift me up in due time”, but I knew I had to keep my faith that God was still “in charge” and did indeed care for me.

I was also struggling to keep my sense of humor through this. I thought this would be a really funny story to tell….if I ever lived to tell it. Here I am, all dirty from my spill down the hill, with a bloody upper lip, my mountain climbing helmet with the light that broke, my two hiking poles that got bent during the fall, layers of clothes that I’m sure made me look overdressed for the occasion (ski overalls, a sweater, gloves, big boots with crampons, and my day pack with the camelback hose coming to my mouth). And I’m standing there on the side of the dry riverbed wondering how I might find water so I don’t die on this mountain.

I was battling to keep my usual optimism. But it was starting to feel more like I was in denial of the bleakness of my situation. I thought, well I could always use my cell phone. I pulled it out of my day pack and was surprised that it was already 9:00 in the morning. I had been on the mountain since 1:30 a.m. I was also surprised that the battery was almost empty…it had been almost charged yesterday when we started this trek. But then I remembered that cell phones can lose their battery quickly in isolated places, because it takes more of the juice to connect to the wireless satellites. So I knew I had to use my cell phone sparingly. So I thought I would wait till things got really desperate. At that point, I didn’t even consider that the cell phone wouldn’t work up there…again my eternal optimism.

It was then that I thought I heard water moving…like a stream flowing over rocks. Now please understand, I have a vivid imagination and have been known to see or hear things that weren’t there in the past. And that wasn’t just during my “psychedelic period” in the 70’s. And I do have this kind of optimism, which says, things will always get better…and they usually do. So I thought, “Maybe there is water….it sounded like it was coming from the other side of the embankment by the riverbed.” I quickly took my backpack off and scrambled up the rocky embankment, like a coyote on the prowl. I got to the top of this ridge and surveyed the landscape for water.

I was now standing on a wide open field filled with brush and small bushes that seemed to stretch for miles. There were tall pine trees framing the field and the towering still snow-capped peak of Mt. Shasta looming to the right of me disappearing into the clouds. There was no water in sight. I had just heard wind moving through the trees. I started to get desperate because all I saw was the mountain going up and miles of forest going down…..with no clear path or sign of water anywhere.